00:22:05: Package picked up by Bacon Moo
00:22:06: There are automatic rifles and there are these. The GZNKA tank killer is surprisingly light as Blaylock Samson hefts it on their shoulder. The rounds are known to puncture holes two feet wide through heavy ship armor, and are held in a backpack and fed via sling. It is this reason alone that Blaylock Samson has used it, targeting Bacon Moo's ship as it races across the horizon. However, Bacon Moo's ship is not only retrofitted with two meter thick armor, but also an electronic shielding system. Blaylock Samson's rounds do find their way through the shields, but only make it one foot into the armor. Bacon Moo dips their ship, skirting past Blaylock Samson and giving them third degree thruster burns across half of their body.
01:00:44: Bacon Moo was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by Ignoracious Buttafucco. Luckily, Bacon Moo vaulted over it, only severing one foot. Bacon Moo resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
01:02:49: Bacon Moo is riddled with repetitive machine gun fire from Corvus Wyatt, falling to their knees and letting the package slip from their fingers. "Parcel transferred." Corvus Wyatt resumes delivery with the package.
01:09:07: The wonderful thing about lasers, although expensive, is their ability to slice entirely through a surface and sever. Corvus Wyatt rounds a corner and only has a split second to see a blinding red light, before being decapitated by a slicingly accurate laser blast from Bacon Moo. The package rolls to their feet. "Parcel transferred." Bacon Moo resumes delivery of the stolen package.
02:00:46: Someone once told Blaylock Samson the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. Bacon Moo got one over on Blaylock Samson once before. So definitely, for Blaylock Samson, that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. Blaylock Samson stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. Blaylock Samson see's Bacon Moo running hurriedly down the street. Blaylock Samson takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. Blaylock Samson ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. Bacon Moo doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that Blaylock Samson did not see before. Blaylock Samson takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see Bacon Moo escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
03:00:41: There are automatic rifles and there are these. The GZNKA tank killer is surprisingly light as Blaylock Samson hefts it on their shoulder. The rounds are known to puncture holes two feet wide through heavy ship armor, and are held in a backpack and fed via sling. It is this reason alone that Blaylock Samson has used it, targeting Bacon Moo's ship as it races across the horizon. However, Bacon Moo's ship is not only retrofitted with two meter thick armor, but also an electronic shielding system. Blaylock Samson's rounds do find their way through the shields, but only make it one foot into the armor. Bacon Moo dips their ship, skirting past Blaylock Samson and giving them third degree thruster burns across half of their body.
04:00:16: Mac Nielson steadily took aim from a second story window as Bacon Moo ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, Mac Nielson inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. Bacon Moo resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
05:01:16: There are automatic rifles and there are these. The GZNKA tank killer is surprisingly light as Blaylock Samson hefts it on their shoulder. The rounds are known to puncture holes two feet wide through heavy ship armor, and are held in a backpack and fed via sling. It is this reason alone that Blaylock Samson has used it, targeting Bacon Moo's ship as it races across the horizon. However, Bacon Moo's ship is not only retrofitted with two meter thick armor, but also an electronic shielding system. Blaylock Samson's rounds do find their way through the shields, but only make it one foot into the armor. Bacon Moo dips their ship, skirting past Blaylock Samson and giving them third degree thruster burns across half of their body.
06:01:04: Blaylock Samson does not normally mourn death. Blaylock Samson is accustomed to the loss of those they meet, in one capacity or another. But that last death. A split second of Blaylock Samson thinking about it meant they were a split second too late on the trigger as Bacon Moo emerged from the parking garage, package in tow. The shot missed. Bacon Moo dove, taking a shot mid-air. Bacon Moo was not thinking about human connection, unlike Blaylock Samson. This is arguably why Blaylock Samson was shot in the gut. Bacon Moo resumes their delivery, package in tow.
07:01:07: Mac Nielson is impaled on a lengthy spear with a laser tip by Bacon Moo after a failed package theft attempt. Bacon Moo resumes on their way.
07:30:30: The wonderful thing about lasers, although expensive, is their ability to slice entirely through a surface and sever. Bacon Moo rounds a corner and only has a split second to see a blinding red light, before being decapitated by a slicingly accurate laser blast from Leroy Palestine. The package rolls to their feet. "Parcel transferred." Leroy Palestine resumes delivery of the stolen package.
08:01:13: There are automatic rifles and there are these. The GZNKA tank killer is surprisingly light as Ignoracious Buttafucco hefts it on their shoulder. The rounds are known to puncture holes two feet wide through heavy ship armor, and are held in a backpack and fed via sling. It is this reason alone that Ignoracious Buttafucco has used it, targeting Leroy Palestine's ship as it races across the horizon. However, Leroy Palestine's ship is not only retrofitted with two meter thick armor, but also an electronic shielding system. Ignoracious Buttafucco's rounds do find their way through the shields, but only make it one foot into the armor. Leroy Palestine dips their ship, skirting past Ignoracious Buttafucco and giving them third degree thruster burns across half of their body.
08:22:05: Package delivered by Leroy Palestine for $240,000