14:36:12: Package picked up by Gotterdammerung Ragnarok
14:36:13: @peepso_user_108(Gotterdammerung Ragnarok) is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but @peepso_user_108(Gotterdammerung Ragnarok) smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. @peepso_user_108(Gotterdammerung Ragnarok) lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises @peepso_user_108(Gotterdammerung Ragnarok)'s adrenaline. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of @peepso_user_108(Gotterdammerung Ragnarok). "Not today, my friend." @peepso_user_108(Gotterdammerung Ragnarok) twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
14:39:27: @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis)'s ship rams head-first into @peepso_user_108(Gotterdammerung Ragnarok)'s ship, utilizing a superheated prow to disintegrate @peepso_user_108(Gotterdammerung Ragnarok)'s cockpit. The package is snagged by @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) after a daring space walk. "Parcel transferred."
14:41:35: The delivery point only has one way in, about a hundred yards away from a gated entry. @peepso_user_108(Gotterdammerung Ragnarok) has taken the precaution of wrapping that entire entry-way with barbed wire. The only issue with barbed wire in this day and age is that once spotted, it can be avoided. @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) ignites their rocket boots, attempting to vault over the death trap. @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) almost makes it, but is caught on their ankles, immediately becoming a tangled bloody mess in @peepso_user_108(Gotterdammerung Ragnarok)'s trap. Frantic, @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) activates their shield generator which creates a kinetic field of energy around their body, and it successfully severs most of the barbed wire. Limping, @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) hustles towards the remainder of the delivery path, lobbing grenades over their shoulder. As @peepso_user_108(Gotterdammerung Ragnarok) manically runs after @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) firing rounds in their direction, they are caught in one of @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis)'s grenades, losing a leg. @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) continues, hobbling, towards the delivery point.
15:00:32: @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco). Luckily, @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) vaulted over it, only severing one foot. @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
15:14:37: @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) successfully spears @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) to a wall through their chest. @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) has time to yell, "You bastard," as @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) snags the package from the ground in front of them. "Parcel transferred."
15:23:40: @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) took a shortcut due to a fake sign placed by @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine), tripping over a portable road spike, and then landing in a field of Guruvian Nesters, an exotic species known for their sexual appetite. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) currently has the package.
15:58:34: @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) tried to sneak on board @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) continues their delivery.
15:58:36: Someone once told @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) got one over on @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) once before. So definitely, for @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo), that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) see's @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) running hurriedly down the street. @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) did not see before. @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
15:58:40: @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo). Luckily, @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) vaulted over it, only severing one foot. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
15:58:45: @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) shot a missile at @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) and obliterated their ship. All that was left was the package which was picked up and continued its journey with @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo).
16:00:23: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) is impaled on a lengthy spear with a laser tip by @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) after a failed package theft attempt. @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) resumes on their way.
16:47:50: @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) is impaled on a lengthy spear with a laser tip by @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) after a failed package theft attempt. @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) resumes on their way.
16:47:55: @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) is riddled with repetitive machine gun fire from @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine), falling to their knees and letting the package slip from their fingers. "Parcel transferred." @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) resumes delivery with the package.
17:46:45: @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) steadily took aim from a second story window as @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
18:18:23: Today started as a uniquely bright one for @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson). A wonderful breakfast. "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) mused, "Why ruin a good thing? I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery." @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal. "Ah, that's the one. I'm here already." @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) to come running down the road, package in tow. "I know this one. Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum. They won't be able to handle this either." @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) came into view. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism. Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) had just left. "What? How?" As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) barely heard @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!" @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
18:56:17: @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo)'s ship fires two nuclear torpedos into @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s ship, instantly incinerating it. The package is snagged by a lengthy magnetic tow cable. "Parcel transferred."
19:00:26: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) tried to sneak on board @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo)'s ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt. @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) continues their delivery.
20:40:18: @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson). Luckily, @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) vaulted over it, only severing one foot. @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
20:40:22: @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) has managed to somehow evade theft of the package thus far. @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) is feeling good. DAMN good. Unfortunately that feeling is momentarily suspended as a shot rings out, severing a cable holding up a net full of 700 pounds of refuse with a sign that has "Eat My Fuck - Cheers, @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)" scrawled on it in pink paint. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) picks up the package which lies next to the mangled limbs of @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo). Fuck eaten. Good job, @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine). "Parcel Transferred." You have the package. Now get that sucker to the finish line.
20:52:55: @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s adrenaline. @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine). "Not today, my friend." @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
20:52:58: @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo)'s ship rams head-first into @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s ship, utilizing a superheated prow to disintegrate @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s cockpit. The package is snagged by @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) after a daring space walk. "Parcel transferred."
21:00:32: @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo)'s adrenaline. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo). "Not today, my friend." @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
22:38:02: Package delivered by Bacon Moo for $440,000