05:04:21: Package picked up by Jeff Colen
05:04:22: @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) is impaled on a lengthy spear with a laser tip by @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen) after a failed package theft attempt. @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen) resumes on their way.
06:00:19: Someone once told @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen) got one over on @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) once before. So definitely, for @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco), that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) see's @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen) running hurriedly down the street. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen) doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) did not see before. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen) escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
07:00:19: @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) steadily took aim from a second story window as @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen) ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen) resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
08:00:19: Someone once told @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) that the best way to handle this job is if you keep it strictly business. Not personal. Do not concern yourself with revenge. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) knows @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen) has stolen one too many packages from them before, but brushes the sweat from their brow, banishing that memory. The heaviness of the EK40 surface to air missile launcher is starting to wear on @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) but the time is almost here. @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen)'s ship comes over the horizon. There it is. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco)'s finger closes around the trigger loosely, causing the launcher to commence lock-on. A small repetitive beep turns into a single tone, signaling the moment for action. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) is surprised however as the rocket launches behind them instead of in front due to user error. This mistake would sting @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) the most, if not for the tower of rocket fuel they have chosen as their location. @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen)'s ship rolls successfully by the towering pyre of incinerating flame, package still in tow.
08:20:28: @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) successfully spears @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen) to a wall through their chest. @peepso_user_139(Jeff Colen) has time to yell, "You bastard," as @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) snags the package from the ground in front of them. "Parcel transferred."
09:00:19: There are automatic rifles and there are these. The GZNKA tank killer is surprisingly light as @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) hefts it on their shoulder. The rounds are known to puncture holes two feet wide through heavy ship armor, and are held in a backpack and fed via sling. It is this reason alone that @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) has used it, targeting @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis)'s ship as it races across the horizon. However, @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis)'s ship is not only retrofitted with two meter thick armor, but also an electronic shielding system. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson)'s rounds do find their way through the shields, but only make it one foot into the armor. @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) dips their ship, skirting past @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) and giving them third degree thruster burns across half of their body.
10:00:19: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) steadily took aim from a second story window as @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
11:00:19: Today started as a uniquely bright one for @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco). A wonderful breakfast. "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) mused, "Why ruin a good thing? I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery." @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal. "Ah, that's the one. I'm here already." @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) to come running down the road, package in tow. "I know this one. Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum. They won't be able to handle this either." @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) came into view. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism. Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) had just left. "What? How?" As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) barely heard @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!" @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
12:00:19: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) tried to sneak on board @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis)'s ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt. @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) continues their delivery.
13:00:18: Someone once told @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) got one over on @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) once before. So definitely, for @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson), that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) see's @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) running hurriedly down the street. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) did not see before. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
13:05:19: Package delivered by Calto Fremis for $200,000