00:46:14: Package picked up by Michael Bruggman
00:46:16: There are automatic rifles and there are these. The GZNKA tank killer is surprisingly light as @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) hefts it on their shoulder. The rounds are known to puncture holes two feet wide through heavy ship armor, and are held in a backpack and fed via sling. It is this reason alone that @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) has used it, targeting @peepso_user_154(Michael Bruggman)'s ship as it races across the horizon. However, @peepso_user_154(Michael Bruggman)'s ship is not only retrofitted with two meter thick armor, but also an electronic shielding system. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco)'s rounds do find their way through the shields, but only make it one foot into the armor. @peepso_user_154(Michael Bruggman) dips their ship, skirting past @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) and giving them third degree thruster burns across half of their body.
01:13:01: @peepso_user_154(Michael Bruggman) is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but @peepso_user_154(Michael Bruggman) smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. @peepso_user_154(Michael Bruggman) lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises @peepso_user_154(Michael Bruggman)'s adrenaline. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of @peepso_user_154(Michael Bruggman). "Not today, my friend." @peepso_user_154(Michael Bruggman) twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
02:37:38: @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) is impaled on a lengthy spear with a laser tip by @peepso_user_154(Michael Bruggman) after a failed package theft attempt. @peepso_user_154(Michael Bruggman) resumes on their way.
03:39:31: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) steadily took aim from a second story window as @peepso_user_154(Michael Bruggman) ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. @peepso_user_154(Michael Bruggman) resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
04:25:18: @peepso_user_154(Michael Bruggman) was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson). Luckily, @peepso_user_154(Michael Bruggman) vaulted over it, only severing one foot. @peepso_user_154(Michael Bruggman) resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
06:13:11: @peepso_user_154(Michael Bruggman) was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco). Luckily, @peepso_user_154(Michael Bruggman) vaulted over it, only severing one foot. @peepso_user_154(Michael Bruggman) resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
07:03:52: Someone once told @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. @peepso_user_154(Michael Bruggman) got one over on @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) once before. So definitely, for @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco), that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) see's @peepso_user_154(Michael Bruggman) running hurriedly down the street. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. @peepso_user_154(Michael Bruggman) doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) did not see before. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see @peepso_user_154(Michael Bruggman) escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
08:33:29: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) is impaled on a lengthy spear with a laser tip by @peepso_user_154(Michael Bruggman) after a failed package theft attempt. @peepso_user_154(Michael Bruggman) resumes on their way.
08:58:58: Package delivered by Michael Bruggman for $160,000