16:30:38: Package picked up by Calto Fremis
16:30:39: There are automatic rifles and there are these. The GZNKA tank killer is surprisingly light as Blaylock Samson hefts it on their shoulder. The rounds are known to puncture holes two feet wide through heavy ship armor, and are held in a backpack and fed via sling. It is this reason alone that Blaylock Samson has used it, targeting Calto Fremis's ship as it races across the horizon. However, Calto Fremis's ship is not only retrofitted with two meter thick armor, but also an electronic shielding system. Blaylock Samson's rounds do find their way through the shields, but only make it one foot into the armor. Calto Fremis dips their ship, skirting past Blaylock Samson and giving them third degree thruster burns across half of their body.
16:56:53: Feisty Gazebo does not normally mourn death. Feisty Gazebo is accustomed to the loss of those they meet, in one capacity or another. But that last death. A split second of Feisty Gazebo thinking about it meant they were a split second too late on the trigger as Calto Fremis emerged from the parking garage, package in tow. The shot missed. Calto Fremis dove, taking a shot mid-air. Calto Fremis was not thinking about human connection, unlike Feisty Gazebo. This is arguably why Feisty Gazebo was shot in the gut. Calto Fremis resumes their delivery, package in tow.
16:57:03: Feisty Gazebo steadily took aim from a second story window as Calto Fremis ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, Feisty Gazebo inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. Calto Fremis resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
16:57:09: Calto Fremis was feeling THAT feeling. The feeling of the win just over the horizon. A smile crept across Calto Fremis's face, thinking of exactly what they would use these credits to purchase, when Feisty Gazebo launched an electrified bola at their feet. Calto Fremis can't quite internalize that the most painful step is also the most confident, as a dart is lodged into their neck before Calto Fremis's head even hits the ground, bringing on many hours of sleep. Feisty Gazebo smiles as their delivery bracelet emits the familiar "Parcel transferred" message.
22:04:47: Someone once told Ignoracious Buttafucco that the best way to handle this job is if you keep it strictly business. Not personal. Do not concern yourself with revenge. Ignoracious Buttafucco knows Feisty Gazebo has stolen one too many packages from them before, but brushes the sweat from their brow, banishing that memory. The heaviness of the EK40 surface to air missile launcher is starting to wear on Ignoracious Buttafucco but the time is almost here. Feisty Gazebo's ship comes over the horizon. There it is. Ignoracious Buttafucco's finger closes around the trigger loosely, causing the launcher to commence lock-on. A small repetitive beep turns into a single tone, signaling the moment for action. Ignoracious Buttafucco is surprised however as the rocket launches behind them instead of in front due to user error. This mistake would sting Ignoracious Buttafucco the most, if not for the tower of rocket fuel they have chosen as their location. Feisty Gazebo's ship rolls successfully by the towering pyre of incinerating flame, package still in tow.
22:39:12: Today started as a uniquely bright one for Calto Fremis. A wonderful breakfast. "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover. Calto Fremis mused, "Why ruin a good thing? I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery." Calto Fremis took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal. "Ah, that's the one. I'm here already." Calto Fremis put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod. Calto Fremis crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for Feisty Gazebo to come running down the road, package in tow. "I know this one. Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum. They won't be able to handle this either." Feisty Gazebo came into view. Calto Fremis pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism. Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode Calto Fremis had just left. "What? How?" As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, Calto Fremis barely heard Feisty Gazebo running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!" Feisty Gazebo continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
22:39:18: Calto Fremis does not normally mourn death. Calto Fremis is accustomed to the loss of those they meet, in one capacity or another. But that last death. A split second of Calto Fremis thinking about it meant they were a split second too late on the trigger as Feisty Gazebo emerged from the parking garage, package in tow. The shot missed. Feisty Gazebo dove, taking a shot mid-air. Feisty Gazebo was not thinking about human connection, unlike Calto Fremis. This is arguably why Calto Fremis was shot in the gut. Feisty Gazebo resumes their delivery, package in tow.
22:39:26: Feisty Gazebo is riddled with repetitive machine gun fire from Calto Fremis, falling to their knees and letting the package slip from their fingers. "Parcel transferred." Calto Fremis resumes delivery with the package.
23:00:40: Today started as a uniquely bright one for Ignoracious Buttafucco. A wonderful breakfast. "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover. Ignoracious Buttafucco mused, "Why ruin a good thing? I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery." Ignoracious Buttafucco took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal. "Ah, that's the one. I'm here already." Ignoracious Buttafucco put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod. Ignoracious Buttafucco crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for Calto Fremis to come running down the road, package in tow. "I know this one. Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum. They won't be able to handle this either." Calto Fremis came into view. Ignoracious Buttafucco pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism. Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode Ignoracious Buttafucco had just left. "What? How?" As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, Ignoracious Buttafucco barely heard Calto Fremis running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!" Calto Fremis continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
23:39:52: Calto Fremis took a shortcut due to a fake sign placed by Column McClowed, tripping over a portable road spike, and then landing in a field of Guruvian Nesters, an exotic species known for their sexual appetite. Column McClowed currently has the package.
00:01:18: The delivery point only has one way in, about a hundred yards away from a gated entry. Leroy Palestine has taken the precaution of wrapping that entire entry-way with barbed wire. The only issue with barbed wire in this day and age is that once spotted, it can be avoided. Column McClowed ignites their rocket boots, attempting to vault over the death trap. Column McClowed almost makes it, but is caught on their ankles, immediately becoming a tangled bloody mess in Leroy Palestine's trap. Frantic, Column McClowed activates their shield generator which creates a kinetic field of energy around their body, and it successfully severs most of the barbed wire. Limping, Column McClowed hustles towards the remainder of the delivery path, lobbing grenades over their shoulder. As Leroy Palestine manically runs after Column McClowed firing rounds in their direction, they are caught in one of Column McClowed's grenades, losing a leg. Column McClowed continues, hobbling, towards the delivery point.
00:02:03: Today started as a uniquely bright one for Leroy Palestine. A wonderful breakfast. "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover. Leroy Palestine mused, "Why ruin a good thing? I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery." Leroy Palestine took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal. "Ah, that's the one. I'm here already." Leroy Palestine put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod. Leroy Palestine crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for Column McClowed to come running down the road, package in tow. "I know this one. Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum. They won't be able to handle this either." Column McClowed came into view. Leroy Palestine pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism. Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode Leroy Palestine had just left. "What? How?" As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, Leroy Palestine barely heard Column McClowed running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!" Column McClowed continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
00:02:09: The wonderful thing about lasers, although expensive, is their ability to slice entirely through a surface and sever. Column McClowed rounds a corner and only has a split second to see a blinding red light, before being decapitated by a slicingly accurate laser blast from Leroy Palestine. The package rolls to their feet. "Parcel transferred." Leroy Palestine resumes delivery of the stolen package.
00:31:36: Package delivered by Leroy Palestine for $260,000