00:21:56: Package picked up by Pouncy Sillybear
00:21:57: The delivery point only has one way in, about a hundred yards away from a gated entry. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) has taken the precaution of wrapping that entire entry-way with barbed wire. The only issue with barbed wire in this day and age is that once spotted, it can be avoided. @peepso_user_266(Pouncy Sillybear) ignites their rocket boots, attempting to vault over the death trap. @peepso_user_266(Pouncy Sillybear) almost makes it, but is caught on their ankles, immediately becoming a tangled bloody mess in @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson)'s trap. Frantic, @peepso_user_266(Pouncy Sillybear) activates their shield generator which creates a kinetic field of energy around their body, and it successfully severs most of the barbed wire. Limping, @peepso_user_266(Pouncy Sillybear) hustles towards the remainder of the delivery path, lobbing grenades over their shoulder. As @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) manically runs after @peepso_user_266(Pouncy Sillybear) firing rounds in their direction, they are caught in one of @peepso_user_266(Pouncy Sillybear)'s grenades, losing a leg. @peepso_user_266(Pouncy Sillybear) continues, hobbling, towards the delivery point.
01:00:11: @peepso_user_266(Pouncy Sillybear) was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco). Luckily, @peepso_user_266(Pouncy Sillybear) vaulted over it, only severing one foot. @peepso_user_266(Pouncy Sillybear) resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
02:18:11: @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) steadily took aim from a second story window as @peepso_user_266(Pouncy Sillybear) ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. @peepso_user_266(Pouncy Sillybear) resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
02:59:40: Today started as a uniquely bright one for @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine). A wonderful breakfast. "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) mused, "Why ruin a good thing? I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery." @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal. "Ah, that's the one. I'm here already." @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for @peepso_user_266(Pouncy Sillybear) to come running down the road, package in tow. "I know this one. Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum. They won't be able to handle this either." @peepso_user_266(Pouncy Sillybear) came into view. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism. Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) had just left. "What? How?" As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) barely heard @peepso_user_266(Pouncy Sillybear) running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!" @peepso_user_266(Pouncy Sillybear) continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
03:00:33: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) stumbles into their own trap: a hole dug in the ground full of Ixyotik Death Wasps meant to ensure @peepso_user_266(Pouncy Sillybear)'s destruction. Instead @peepso_user_266(Pouncy Sillybear) resumes on their way, @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco)'s agonizing screams ringing in their ears.
03:00:55: @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) does not normally mourn death. @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) is accustomed to the loss of those they meet, in one capacity or another. But that last death. A split second of @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) thinking about it meant they were a split second too late on the trigger as @peepso_user_266(Pouncy Sillybear) emerged from the parking garage, package in tow. The shot missed. @peepso_user_266(Pouncy Sillybear) dove, taking a shot mid-air. @peepso_user_266(Pouncy Sillybear) was not thinking about human connection, unlike @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis). This is arguably why @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) was shot in the gut. @peepso_user_266(Pouncy Sillybear) resumes their delivery, package in tow.
03:01:17: @peepso_user_266(Pouncy Sillybear) takes two shotgun blasts directly to the spine from @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis), who continues on their way with the package. "Parcel transferred." @peepso_user_266(Pouncy Sillybear) will be paying a deductible to get this fixed.
03:06:03: @peepso_user_266(Pouncy Sillybear) is impaled on a lengthy spear with a laser tip by @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) after a failed package theft attempt. @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) resumes on their way.
03:06:40: Someone once told @peepso_user_266(Pouncy Sillybear) the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) got one over on @peepso_user_266(Pouncy Sillybear) once before. So definitely, for @peepso_user_266(Pouncy Sillybear), that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. @peepso_user_266(Pouncy Sillybear) stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. @peepso_user_266(Pouncy Sillybear) see's @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) running hurriedly down the street. @peepso_user_266(Pouncy Sillybear) takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. @peepso_user_266(Pouncy Sillybear) ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that @peepso_user_266(Pouncy Sillybear) did not see before. @peepso_user_266(Pouncy Sillybear) takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
03:07:46: The wonderful thing about lasers, although expensive, is their ability to slice entirely through a surface and sever. @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) rounds a corner and only has a split second to see a blinding red light, before being decapitated by a slicingly accurate laser blast from @peepso_user_266(Pouncy Sillybear). The package rolls to their feet. "Parcel transferred." @peepso_user_266(Pouncy Sillybear) resumes delivery of the stolen package.
04:12:51: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) is impaled on a lengthy spear with a laser tip by @peepso_user_266(Pouncy Sillybear) after a failed package theft attempt. @peepso_user_266(Pouncy Sillybear) resumes on their way.
04:49:42: Package delivered by Pouncy Sillybear for $220,000