22:17:40: Package picked up by Shadowrabbit Clayguy
22:17:41: Ignoracious Buttafucco steadily took aim from a second story window as Shadowrabbit Clayguy ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, Ignoracious Buttafucco inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. Shadowrabbit Clayguy resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
22:37:57: Shadowrabbit Clayguy takes two shotgun blasts directly to the spine from Weslon Campbell, who continues on their way with the package. "Parcel transferred." Shadowrabbit Clayguy will be paying a deductible to get this fixed.
23:00:16: Someone once told Ignoracious Buttafucco the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. Weslon Campbell got one over on Ignoracious Buttafucco once before. So definitely, for Ignoracious Buttafucco, that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. Ignoracious Buttafucco stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. Ignoracious Buttafucco see's Weslon Campbell running hurriedly down the street. Ignoracious Buttafucco takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. Ignoracious Buttafucco ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. Weslon Campbell doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that Ignoracious Buttafucco did not see before. Ignoracious Buttafucco takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see Weslon Campbell escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
06:20:19: Package delivered by Weslon Campbell for $60,000