12:05:59: Package picked up by "OldSch00l" Al' Chedemail
12:06:01: @peepso_user_441("OldSch00l" Al' Chedemail) was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson). Luckily, @peepso_user_441("OldSch00l" Al' Chedemail) vaulted over it, only severing one foot. @peepso_user_441("OldSch00l" Al' Chedemail) resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
13:11:48: @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) does not normally mourn death. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) is accustomed to the loss of those they meet, in one capacity or another. But that last death. A split second of @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) thinking about it meant they were a split second too late on the trigger as @peepso_user_441("OldSch00l" Al' Chedemail) emerged from the parking garage, package in tow. The shot missed. @peepso_user_441("OldSch00l" Al' Chedemail) dove, taking a shot mid-air. @peepso_user_441("OldSch00l" Al' Chedemail) was not thinking about human connection, unlike @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson). This is arguably why @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) was shot in the gut. @peepso_user_441("OldSch00l" Al' Chedemail) resumes their delivery, package in tow.
14:00:06: Someone once told @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. @peepso_user_441("OldSch00l" Al' Chedemail) got one over on @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) once before. So definitely, for @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco), that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) see's @peepso_user_441("OldSch00l" Al' Chedemail) running hurriedly down the street. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. @peepso_user_441("OldSch00l" Al' Chedemail) doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) did not see before. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see @peepso_user_441("OldSch00l" Al' Chedemail) escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
15:00:01: Today started as a uniquely bright one for @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco). A wonderful breakfast. "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) mused, "Why ruin a good thing? I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery." @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal. "Ah, that's the one. I'm here already." @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for @peepso_user_441("OldSch00l" Al' Chedemail) to come running down the road, package in tow. "I know this one. Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum. They won't be able to handle this either." @peepso_user_441("OldSch00l" Al' Chedemail) came into view. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism. Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) had just left. "What? How?" As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) barely heard @peepso_user_441("OldSch00l" Al' Chedemail) running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!" @peepso_user_441("OldSch00l" Al' Chedemail) continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
16:11:43: Package delivered by "OldSch00l" Al' Chedemail for $80,000