15:44:46: Package picked up by Jack Corbeau
15:44:47: @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau)'s adrenaline. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau). "Not today, my friend." @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
16:01:05: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) stumbles into their own trap: a hole dug in the ground full of Ixyotik Death Wasps meant to ensure @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau)'s destruction. Instead @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) resumes on their way, @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco)'s agonizing screams ringing in their ears.
17:01:16: @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) steadily took aim from a second story window as @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
18:01:10: There are automatic rifles and there are these. The GZNKA tank killer is surprisingly light as @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) hefts it on their shoulder. The rounds are known to puncture holes two feet wide through heavy ship armor, and are held in a backpack and fed via sling. It is this reason alone that @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) has used it, targeting @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau)'s ship as it races across the horizon. However, @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau)'s ship is not only retrofitted with two meter thick armor, but also an electronic shielding system. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco)'s rounds do find their way through the shields, but only make it one foot into the armor. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) dips their ship, skirting past @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) and giving them third degree thruster burns across half of their body.
19:01:05: The delivery point only has one way in, about a hundred yards away from a gated entry. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) has taken the precaution of wrapping that entire entry-way with barbed wire. The only issue with barbed wire in this day and age is that once spotted, it can be avoided. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) ignites their rocket boots, attempting to vault over the death trap. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) almost makes it, but is caught on their ankles, immediately becoming a tangled bloody mess in @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson)'s trap. Frantic, @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) activates their shield generator which creates a kinetic field of energy around their body, and it successfully severs most of the barbed wire. Limping, @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) hustles towards the remainder of the delivery path, lobbing grenades over their shoulder. As @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) manically runs after @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) firing rounds in their direction, they are caught in one of @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau)'s grenades, losing a leg. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) continues, hobbling, towards the delivery point.
20:01:45: There are automatic rifles and there are these. The GZNKA tank killer is surprisingly light as @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) hefts it on their shoulder. The rounds are known to puncture holes two feet wide through heavy ship armor, and are held in a backpack and fed via sling. It is this reason alone that @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) has used it, targeting @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau)'s ship as it races across the horizon. However, @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau)'s ship is not only retrofitted with two meter thick armor, but also an electronic shielding system. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson)'s rounds do find their way through the shields, but only make it one foot into the armor. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) dips their ship, skirting past @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) and giving them third degree thruster burns across half of their body.
21:00:39: Someone once told @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) got one over on @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) once before. So definitely, for @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson), that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) see's @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) running hurriedly down the street. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) did not see before. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
21:05:53: @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) misses their double-fisted pistol shots. A sad attempt involving a total of 24 rounds fired at @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau). @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) resumes delivery of their package.
21:06:19: @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) took a shortcut due to a fake sign placed by @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino), tripping over a portable road spike, and then landing in a field of Guruvian Nesters, an exotic species known for their sexual appetite. @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) currently has the package.
21:27:06: @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) successfully spears @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) to a wall through their chest. @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) has time to yell, "You bastard," as @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) snags the package from the ground in front of them. "Parcel transferred."
22:00:10: @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) misses their double-fisted pistol shots. A sad attempt involving a total of 24 rounds fired at @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau). @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) resumes delivery of their package.
22:01:28: @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) bludgeons @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) unconscious with a large metal crowbar, laughing and dancing over their bloody mangled body. "Parcel transferred."
23:01:14: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) tried to sneak on board @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino)'s ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt. @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) continues their delivery.
23:44:11: @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau). Luckily, @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) vaulted over it, only severing one foot. @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
23:44:18: @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino)'s adrenaline. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino). "Not today, my friend." @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
23:44:24: @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau). Luckily, @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) vaulted over it, only severing one foot. @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
23:44:29: There are automatic rifles and there are these. The GZNKA tank killer is surprisingly light as @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) hefts it on their shoulder. The rounds are known to puncture holes two feet wide through heavy ship armor, and are held in a backpack and fed via sling. It is this reason alone that @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) has used it, targeting @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino)'s ship as it races across the horizon. However, @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino)'s ship is not only retrofitted with two meter thick armor, but also an electronic shielding system. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau)'s rounds do find their way through the shields, but only make it one foot into the armor. @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) dips their ship, skirting past @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) and giving them third degree thruster burns across half of their body.
23:44:35: @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) is impaled on a lengthy spear with a laser tip by @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) after a failed package theft attempt. @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) resumes on their way.
23:44:40: @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) tried to sneak on board @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino)'s ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt. @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) continues their delivery.
23:44:44: Today started as a uniquely bright one for @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau). A wonderful breakfast. "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) mused, "Why ruin a good thing? I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery." @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal. "Ah, that's the one. I'm here already." @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) to come running down the road, package in tow. "I know this one. Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum. They won't be able to handle this either." @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) came into view. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism. Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) had just left. "What? How?" As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) barely heard @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!" @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
23:44:50: Package delivered by Nicholas Jusino for $400,000