11:45:22: Package picked up by Jack Corbeau
11:45:23: @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson). Luckily, @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) vaulted over it, only severing one foot. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
12:00:39: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) does not normally mourn death. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) is accustomed to the loss of those they meet, in one capacity or another. But that last death. A split second of @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) thinking about it meant they were a split second too late on the trigger as @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) emerged from the parking garage, package in tow. The shot missed. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) dove, taking a shot mid-air. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) was not thinking about human connection, unlike @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco). This is arguably why @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) was shot in the gut. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) resumes their delivery, package in tow.
13:00:42: @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson). Luckily, @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) vaulted over it, only severing one foot. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
14:00:13: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) stumbles into their own trap: a hole dug in the ground full of Ixyotik Death Wasps meant to ensure @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau)'s destruction. Instead @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) resumes on their way, @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco)'s agonizing screams ringing in their ears.
15:00:10: Someone once told @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) got one over on @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) once before. So definitely, for @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson), that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) see's @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) running hurriedly down the street. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) did not see before. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
16:00:00: @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) is impaled on a lengthy spear with a laser tip by @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) after a failed package theft attempt. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) resumes on their way.
17:01:06: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) stumbles into their own trap: a hole dug in the ground full of Ixyotik Death Wasps meant to ensure @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau)'s destruction. Instead @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) resumes on their way, @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco)'s agonizing screams ringing in their ears.
18:00:47: @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) misses their double-fisted pistol shots. A sad attempt involving a total of 24 rounds fired at @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau). @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) resumes delivery of their package.
19:00:02: @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson). Luckily, @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) vaulted over it, only severing one foot. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
19:45:26: Package delivered by Jack Corbeau for $180,000