09:37:08: Package picked up by Jack Corbeau
09:37:09: @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) does not normally mourn death. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) is accustomed to the loss of those they meet, in one capacity or another. But that last death. A split second of @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) thinking about it meant they were a split second too late on the trigger as @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) emerged from the parking garage, package in tow. The shot missed. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) dove, taking a shot mid-air. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) was not thinking about human connection, unlike @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson). This is arguably why @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) was shot in the gut. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) resumes their delivery, package in tow.
10:01:07: @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) is impaled on a lengthy spear with a laser tip by @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) after a failed package theft attempt. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) resumes on their way.
11:12:49: Today started as a uniquely bright one for @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson). A wonderful breakfast. "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) mused, "Why ruin a good thing? I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery." @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal. "Ah, that's the one. I'm here already." @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) to come running down the road, package in tow. "I know this one. Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum. They won't be able to handle this either." @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) came into view. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism. Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) had just left. "What? How?" As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) barely heard @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!" @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
12:07:19: @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) steadily took aim from a second story window as @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
13:15:02: @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) does not normally mourn death. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) is accustomed to the loss of those they meet, in one capacity or another. But that last death. A split second of @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) thinking about it meant they were a split second too late on the trigger as @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) emerged from the parking garage, package in tow. The shot missed. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) dove, taking a shot mid-air. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) was not thinking about human connection, unlike @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson). This is arguably why @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) was shot in the gut. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) resumes their delivery, package in tow.
14:05:45: Someone once told @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) got one over on @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) once before. So definitely, for @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco), that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) see's @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) running hurriedly down the street. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) did not see before. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
15:00:28: @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau)'s adrenaline. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau). "Not today, my friend." @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
16:05:29: @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau)'s adrenaline. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau). "Not today, my friend." @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
16:25:08: @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) does not normally mourn death. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) is accustomed to the loss of those they meet, in one capacity or another. But that last death. A split second of @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) thinking about it meant they were a split second too late on the trigger as @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) emerged from the parking garage, package in tow. The shot missed. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) dove, taking a shot mid-air. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) was not thinking about human connection, unlike @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy). This is arguably why @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) was shot in the gut. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) resumes their delivery, package in tow.
16:25:25: @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) was feeling THAT feeling. The feeling of the win just over the horizon. A smile crept across @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau)'s face, thinking of exactly what they would use these credits to purchase, when @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) launched an electrified bola at their feet. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) can't quite internalize that the most painful step is also the most confident, as a dart is lodged into their neck before @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau)'s head even hits the ground, bringing on many hours of sleep. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) smiles as their delivery bracelet emits the familiar "Parcel transferred" message.
17:00:12: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) steadily took aim from a second story window as @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
17:40:45: Package delivered by Shadowrabbit Clayguy for $220,000