18:48:18: Package picked up by Calto Fremis
18:48:19: @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) steadily took aim from a second story window as @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
19:00:58: Today started as a uniquely bright one for @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson). A wonderful breakfast. "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) mused, "Why ruin a good thing? I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery." @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal. "Ah, that's the one. I'm here already." @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) to come running down the road, package in tow. "I know this one. Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum. They won't be able to handle this either." @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) came into view. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism. Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) had just left. "What? How?" As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) barely heard @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!" @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
20:04:27: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) tried to sneak on board @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis)'s ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt. @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) continues their delivery.
21:02:33: @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis)'s adrenaline. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis). "Not today, my friend." @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
22:00:22: The delivery point only has one way in, about a hundred yards away from a gated entry. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) has taken the precaution of wrapping that entire entry-way with barbed wire. The only issue with barbed wire in this day and age is that once spotted, it can be avoided. @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) ignites their rocket boots, attempting to vault over the death trap. @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) almost makes it, but is caught on their ankles, immediately becoming a tangled bloody mess in @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson)'s trap. Frantic, @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) activates their shield generator which creates a kinetic field of energy around their body, and it successfully severs most of the barbed wire. Limping, @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) hustles towards the remainder of the delivery path, lobbing grenades over their shoulder. As @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) manically runs after @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) firing rounds in their direction, they are caught in one of @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis)'s grenades, losing a leg. @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) continues, hobbling, towards the delivery point.
23:00:49: Someone once told @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) got one over on @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) once before. So definitely, for @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson), that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) see's @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) running hurriedly down the street. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) did not see before. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
00:43:45: Someone once told @peepso_user_459(Liz Buchholz) the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) got one over on @peepso_user_459(Liz Buchholz) once before. So definitely, for @peepso_user_459(Liz Buchholz), that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. @peepso_user_459(Liz Buchholz) stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. @peepso_user_459(Liz Buchholz) see's @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) running hurriedly down the street. @peepso_user_459(Liz Buchholz) takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. @peepso_user_459(Liz Buchholz) ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that @peepso_user_459(Liz Buchholz) did not see before. @peepso_user_459(Liz Buchholz) takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
02:48:40: Package delivered by Calto Fremis for $140,000