04:44:40: Package picked up by Leroy Palestine (leroypalestine)
04:44:41: Leroy Palestine (leroypalestine) was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by Ignoracious Buttafucco (npc2).  Luckily, Leroy Palestine (leroypalestine) vaulted over it, only severing one foot.  Leroy Palestine (leroypalestine) resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
05:11:27: Today started as a uniquely bright one for Roy Sharpton (eric).  A wonderful breakfast.  "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover.  Roy Sharpton (eric) mused, "Why ruin a good thing?  I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery."  Roy Sharpton (eric) took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal.  "Ah, that's the one.  I'm here already."  Roy Sharpton (eric) put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod.  Roy Sharpton (eric) crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for Leroy Palestine (leroypalestine) to come running down the road, package in tow.  "I know this one.  Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum.  They won't be able to handle this either."  Leroy Palestine (leroypalestine) came into view.  Roy Sharpton (eric) pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism.  Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode Roy Sharpton (eric) had just left.  "What?  How?"  As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, Roy Sharpton (eric) barely heard Leroy Palestine (leroypalestine) running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!"  Leroy Palestine (leroypalestine) continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
05:12:43: Today started as a uniquely bright one for Roy Sharpton (eric).  A wonderful breakfast.  "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover.  Roy Sharpton (eric) mused, "Why ruin a good thing?  I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery."  Roy Sharpton (eric) took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal.  "Ah, that's the one.  I'm here already."  Roy Sharpton (eric) put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod.  Roy Sharpton (eric) crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for Leroy Palestine (leroypalestine) to come running down the road, package in tow.  "I know this one.  Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum.  They won't be able to handle this either."  Leroy Palestine (leroypalestine) came into view.  Roy Sharpton (eric) pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism.  Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode Roy Sharpton (eric) had just left.  "What?  How?"  As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, Roy Sharpton (eric) barely heard Leroy Palestine (leroypalestine) running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!"  Leroy Palestine (leroypalestine) continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
05:12:51: Roy Sharpton (eric) steadily took aim from a second story window as Leroy Palestine (leroypalestine) ran by below.  Sweat dotting their forehead, Roy Sharpton (eric) inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger.  It was a miss.  Leroy Palestine (leroypalestine) resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
05:44:44: Package delivered by Leroy Palestine for $80,000