14:19:35: Package picked up by Iggy Starlord
14:19:36: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) is impaled on a lengthy spear with a laser tip by @peepso_user_42(Iggy Starlord) after a failed package theft attempt. @peepso_user_42(Iggy Starlord) resumes on their way.
15:00:38: Today started as a uniquely bright one for @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson). A wonderful breakfast. "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) mused, "Why ruin a good thing? I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery." @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal. "Ah, that's the one. I'm here already." @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for @peepso_user_42(Iggy Starlord) to come running down the road, package in tow. "I know this one. Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum. They won't be able to handle this either." @peepso_user_42(Iggy Starlord) came into view. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism. Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) had just left. "What? How?" As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) barely heard @peepso_user_42(Iggy Starlord) running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!" @peepso_user_42(Iggy Starlord) continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
16:02:59: The delivery point only has one way in, about a hundred yards away from a gated entry. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) has taken the precaution of wrapping that entire entry-way with barbed wire. The only issue with barbed wire in this day and age is that once spotted, it can be avoided. @peepso_user_42(Iggy Starlord) ignites their rocket boots, attempting to vault over the death trap. @peepso_user_42(Iggy Starlord) almost makes it, but is caught on their ankles, immediately becoming a tangled bloody mess in @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco)'s trap. Frantic, @peepso_user_42(Iggy Starlord) activates their shield generator which creates a kinetic field of energy around their body, and it successfully severs most of the barbed wire. Limping, @peepso_user_42(Iggy Starlord) hustles towards the remainder of the delivery path, lobbing grenades over their shoulder. As @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) manically runs after @peepso_user_42(Iggy Starlord) firing rounds in their direction, they are caught in one of @peepso_user_42(Iggy Starlord)'s grenades, losing a leg. @peepso_user_42(Iggy Starlord) continues, hobbling, towards the delivery point.
17:06:17: The delivery point only has one way in, about a hundred yards away from a gated entry. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) has taken the precaution of wrapping that entire entry-way with barbed wire. The only issue with barbed wire in this day and age is that once spotted, it can be avoided. @peepso_user_42(Iggy Starlord) ignites their rocket boots, attempting to vault over the death trap. @peepso_user_42(Iggy Starlord) almost makes it, but is caught on their ankles, immediately becoming a tangled bloody mess in @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco)'s trap. Frantic, @peepso_user_42(Iggy Starlord) activates their shield generator which creates a kinetic field of energy around their body, and it successfully severs most of the barbed wire. Limping, @peepso_user_42(Iggy Starlord) hustles towards the remainder of the delivery path, lobbing grenades over their shoulder. As @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) manically runs after @peepso_user_42(Iggy Starlord) firing rounds in their direction, they are caught in one of @peepso_user_42(Iggy Starlord)'s grenades, losing a leg. @peepso_user_42(Iggy Starlord) continues, hobbling, towards the delivery point.
20:10:04: @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) stumbles into their own trap: a hole dug in the ground full of Ixyotik Death Wasps meant to ensure @peepso_user_42(Iggy Starlord)'s destruction. Instead @peepso_user_42(Iggy Starlord) resumes on their way, @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson)'s agonizing screams ringing in their ears.
21:10:54: @peepso_user_42(Iggy Starlord) was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco). Luckily, @peepso_user_42(Iggy Starlord) vaulted over it, only severing one foot. @peepso_user_42(Iggy Starlord) resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
22:46:55: Package delivered by Iggy Starlord for $120,000