16:45:06: Package picked up by Leroy Palestine
16:45:07: @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s adrenaline. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine). "Not today, my friend." @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
17:04:51: @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco). Luckily, @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) vaulted over it, only severing one foot. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
18:28:14: Someone once told @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) that the best way to handle this job is if you keep it strictly business. Not personal. Do not concern yourself with revenge. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) knows @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) has stolen one too many packages from them before, but brushes the sweat from their brow, banishing that memory. The heaviness of the EK40 surface to air missile launcher is starting to wear on @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) but the time is almost here. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s ship comes over the horizon. There it is. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson)'s finger closes around the trigger loosely, causing the launcher to commence lock-on. A small repetitive beep turns into a single tone, signaling the moment for action. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) is surprised however as the rocket launches behind them instead of in front due to user error. This mistake would sting @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) the most, if not for the tower of rocket fuel they have chosen as their location. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s ship rolls successfully by the towering pyre of incinerating flame, package still in tow.
20:08:42: @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s adrenaline. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine). "Not today, my friend." @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
21:18:17: @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) does not normally mourn death. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) is accustomed to the loss of those they meet, in one capacity or another. But that last death. A split second of @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) thinking about it meant they were a split second too late on the trigger as @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) emerged from the parking garage, package in tow. The shot missed. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) dove, taking a shot mid-air. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) was not thinking about human connection, unlike @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson). This is arguably why @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) was shot in the gut. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) resumes their delivery, package in tow.
22:21:07: @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson). Luckily, @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) vaulted over it, only severing one foot. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
22:57:08: @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) was feeling THAT feeling. The feeling of the win just over the horizon. A smile crept across @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s face, thinking of exactly what they would use these credits to purchase, when @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter) launched an electrified bola at their feet. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) can't quite internalize that the most painful step is also the most confident, as a dart is lodged into their neck before @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s head even hits the ground, bringing on many hours of sleep. @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter) smiles as their delivery bracelet emits the familiar "Parcel transferred" message.
23:43:41: Someone once told @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter) got one over on @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) once before. So definitely, for @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson), that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) see's @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter) running hurriedly down the street. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter) doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) did not see before. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter) escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
23:43:46: Someone once told @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) that the best way to handle this job is if you keep it strictly business. Not personal. Do not concern yourself with revenge. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) knows @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter) has stolen one too many packages from them before, but brushes the sweat from their brow, banishing that memory. The heaviness of the EK40 surface to air missile launcher is starting to wear on @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) but the time is almost here. @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter)'s ship comes over the horizon. There it is. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s finger closes around the trigger loosely, causing the launcher to commence lock-on. A small repetitive beep turns into a single tone, signaling the moment for action. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) is surprised however as the rocket launches behind them instead of in front due to user error. This mistake would sting @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) the most, if not for the tower of rocket fuel they have chosen as their location. @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter)'s ship rolls successfully by the towering pyre of incinerating flame, package still in tow.
23:43:49: @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) stumbles into their own trap: a hole dug in the ground full of Ixyotik Death Wasps meant to ensure @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter)'s destruction. Instead @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter) resumes on their way, @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s agonizing screams ringing in their ears.
23:43:54: @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter) takes two shotgun blasts directly to the spine from @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine), who continues on their way with the package. "Parcel transferred." @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter) will be paying a deductible to get this fixed.
00:55:00: Package delivered by Leroy Palestine for $220,000