20:19:01: Package picked up by Glenn Murphy
20:19:02: Today started as a uniquely bright one for @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco).  A wonderful breakfast.  "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover.  @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) mused, "Why ruin a good thing?  I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery."  @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal.  "Ah, that's the one.  I'm here already."  @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod.  @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy) to come running down the road, package in tow.  "I know this one.  Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum.  They won't be able to handle this either."  @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy) came into view.  @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism.  Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) had just left.  "What?  How?"  As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) barely heard @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy) running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!"  @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy) continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
20:31:43: @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) shot a missile at @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy) and obliterated their ship. All that was left was the package which was picked up and continued its journey with @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis).
20:36:32: @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy) steadily took aim from a second story window as @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) ran by below.  Sweat dotting their forehead, @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy) inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger.  It was a miss.  @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
20:36:35: @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) has been sucked into a portable black hole shot from @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy)'s MSK-8500 rifle, not only losing the package to @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy), but flung to unknown reaches of the universe.  "Parcel transferred."
21:00:23: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) stumbles into their own trap:  a hole dug in the ground full of Ixyotik Death Wasps meant to ensure @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy)'s destruction.  Instead @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy) resumes on their way, @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco)'s agonizing screams ringing in their ears.
21:01:04: @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy) leaps off of a second story building on to a tall dumpster, shortening the fall.  Unfortunately this dumpster is full of explosives placed by @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis).  @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) smiles as they plunge their thumb onto the detonator switch, their face ignited by a pillar of flames as @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy) is incinerated.  @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) throws the detonator over their shoulder as they pick up the package that rolls to their feet as if it was meant for them.  @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) breaks into a fast run, taking the stolen package with them.  "Parcel transferred," emits from their delivery bracelet signifying even more credits to be earned.  "Parcel transferred, indeed," @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) whispers in reply.
21:02:13: There are automatic rifles and there are these.  The GZNKA tank killer is surprisingly light as @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy) hefts it on their shoulder.  The rounds are known to puncture holes two feet wide through heavy ship armor, and are held in a backpack and fed via sling.  It is this reason alone that @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy) has used it, targeting @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis)'s ship as it races across the horizon.  However, @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis)'s ship is not only retrofitted with two meter thick armor, but also an electronic shielding system.  @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy)'s rounds do find their way through the shields, but only make it one foot into the armor.  @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) dips their ship, skirting past @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy) and giving them third degree thruster burns across half of their body.
21:02:16: @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy) bludgeons @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) unconscious with a large metal crowbar, laughing and dancing over their bloody mangled body.  "Parcel transferred."
21:19:02: Package delivered by Glenn Murphy for $160,000