00:22:05: Package picked up by Bacon Moo
00:22:06: There are automatic rifles and there are these. The GZNKA tank killer is surprisingly light as @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) hefts it on their shoulder. The rounds are known to puncture holes two feet wide through heavy ship armor, and are held in a backpack and fed via sling. It is this reason alone that @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) has used it, targeting @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo)'s ship as it races across the horizon. However, @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo)'s ship is not only retrofitted with two meter thick armor, but also an electronic shielding system. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson)'s rounds do find their way through the shields, but only make it one foot into the armor. @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) dips their ship, skirting past @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) and giving them third degree thruster burns across half of their body.
01:00:44: @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco). Luckily, @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) vaulted over it, only severing one foot. @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
01:02:49: @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) is riddled with repetitive machine gun fire from @peepso_user_85(Corvus Wyatt), falling to their knees and letting the package slip from their fingers. "Parcel transferred." @peepso_user_85(Corvus Wyatt) resumes delivery with the package.
01:09:07: The wonderful thing about lasers, although expensive, is their ability to slice entirely through a surface and sever. @peepso_user_85(Corvus Wyatt) rounds a corner and only has a split second to see a blinding red light, before being decapitated by a slicingly accurate laser blast from @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo). The package rolls to their feet. "Parcel transferred." @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) resumes delivery of the stolen package.
02:00:46: Someone once told @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) got one over on @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) once before. So definitely, for @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson), that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) see's @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) running hurriedly down the street. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) did not see before. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
03:00:41: There are automatic rifles and there are these. The GZNKA tank killer is surprisingly light as @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) hefts it on their shoulder. The rounds are known to puncture holes two feet wide through heavy ship armor, and are held in a backpack and fed via sling. It is this reason alone that @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) has used it, targeting @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo)'s ship as it races across the horizon. However, @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo)'s ship is not only retrofitted with two meter thick armor, but also an electronic shielding system. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson)'s rounds do find their way through the shields, but only make it one foot into the armor. @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) dips their ship, skirting past @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) and giving them third degree thruster burns across half of their body.
04:00:16: @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) steadily took aim from a second story window as @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
05:01:16: There are automatic rifles and there are these. The GZNKA tank killer is surprisingly light as @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) hefts it on their shoulder. The rounds are known to puncture holes two feet wide through heavy ship armor, and are held in a backpack and fed via sling. It is this reason alone that @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) has used it, targeting @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo)'s ship as it races across the horizon. However, @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo)'s ship is not only retrofitted with two meter thick armor, but also an electronic shielding system. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson)'s rounds do find their way through the shields, but only make it one foot into the armor. @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) dips their ship, skirting past @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) and giving them third degree thruster burns across half of their body.
06:01:04: @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) does not normally mourn death. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) is accustomed to the loss of those they meet, in one capacity or another. But that last death. A split second of @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) thinking about it meant they were a split second too late on the trigger as @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) emerged from the parking garage, package in tow. The shot missed. @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) dove, taking a shot mid-air. @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) was not thinking about human connection, unlike @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson). This is arguably why @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) was shot in the gut. @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) resumes their delivery, package in tow.
07:01:07: @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) is impaled on a lengthy spear with a laser tip by @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) after a failed package theft attempt. @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) resumes on their way.
07:30:30: The wonderful thing about lasers, although expensive, is their ability to slice entirely through a surface and sever. @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) rounds a corner and only has a split second to see a blinding red light, before being decapitated by a slicingly accurate laser blast from @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine). The package rolls to their feet. "Parcel transferred." @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) resumes delivery of the stolen package.
08:01:13: There are automatic rifles and there are these. The GZNKA tank killer is surprisingly light as @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) hefts it on their shoulder. The rounds are known to puncture holes two feet wide through heavy ship armor, and are held in a backpack and fed via sling. It is this reason alone that @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) has used it, targeting @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s ship as it races across the horizon. However, @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s ship is not only retrofitted with two meter thick armor, but also an electronic shielding system. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco)'s rounds do find their way through the shields, but only make it one foot into the armor. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) dips their ship, skirting past @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) and giving them third degree thruster burns across half of their body.
08:22:05: Package delivered by Leroy Palestine for $240,000