19:40:01: Package picked up by Remi Delux
19:40:02: Remi Delux is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but Remi Delux smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. Remi Delux lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises Remi Delux's adrenaline. Mac Nielson fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of Remi Delux. "Not today, my friend." Remi Delux twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting Mac Nielson four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
20:12:08: Someone once told Ignoracious Buttafucco the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. Remi Delux got one over on Ignoracious Buttafucco once before. So definitely, for Ignoracious Buttafucco, that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. Ignoracious Buttafucco stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. Ignoracious Buttafucco see's Remi Delux running hurriedly down the street. Ignoracious Buttafucco takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. Ignoracious Buttafucco ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. Remi Delux doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that Ignoracious Buttafucco did not see before. Ignoracious Buttafucco takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see Remi Delux escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
21:00:17: Ignoracious Buttafucco misses their double-fisted pistol shots. A sad attempt involving a total of 24 rounds fired at Remi Delux. Remi Delux resumes delivery of their package.
21:16:35: Someone once told Iggy Starlord the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. Remi Delux got one over on Iggy Starlord once before. So definitely, for Iggy Starlord, that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. Iggy Starlord stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. Iggy Starlord see's Remi Delux running hurriedly down the street. Iggy Starlord takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. Iggy Starlord ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. Remi Delux doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that Iggy Starlord did not see before. Iggy Starlord takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see Remi Delux escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
21:16:46: The wonderful thing about lasers, although expensive, is their ability to slice entirely through a surface and sever. Remi Delux rounds a corner and only has a split second to see a blinding red light, before being decapitated by a slicingly accurate laser blast from Iggy Starlord. The package rolls to their feet. "Parcel transferred." Iggy Starlord resumes delivery of the stolen package.
21:26:57: There are automatic rifles and there are these. The GZNKA tank killer is surprisingly light as Remi Delux hefts it on their shoulder. The rounds are known to puncture holes two feet wide through heavy ship armor, and are held in a backpack and fed via sling. It is this reason alone that Remi Delux has used it, targeting Iggy Starlord's ship as it races across the horizon. However, Iggy Starlord's ship is not only retrofitted with two meter thick armor, but also an electronic shielding system. Remi Delux's rounds do find their way through the shields, but only make it one foot into the armor. Iggy Starlord dips their ship, skirting past Remi Delux and giving them third degree thruster burns across half of their body.
22:02:06: Blaylock Samson stumbles into their own trap: a hole dug in the ground full of Ixyotik Death Wasps meant to ensure Iggy Starlord's destruction. Instead Iggy Starlord resumes on their way, Blaylock Samson's agonizing screams ringing in their ears.
23:00:56: Iggy Starlord is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but Iggy Starlord smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. Iggy Starlord lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises Iggy Starlord's adrenaline. Mac Nielson fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of Iggy Starlord. "Not today, my friend." Iggy Starlord twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting Mac Nielson four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
23:40:27: Package delivered by Iggy Starlord for $160,000