04:41:21: Package picked up by Bacon Moo
04:41:22: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) does not normally mourn death. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) is accustomed to the loss of those they meet, in one capacity or another. But that last death. A split second of @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) thinking about it meant they were a split second too late on the trigger as @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) emerged from the parking garage, package in tow. The shot missed. @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) dove, taking a shot mid-air. @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) was not thinking about human connection, unlike @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco). This is arguably why @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) was shot in the gut. @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) resumes their delivery, package in tow.
05:01:52: Today started as a uniquely bright one for @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson). A wonderful breakfast. "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) mused, "Why ruin a good thing? I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery." @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal. "Ah, that's the one. I'm here already." @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) to come running down the road, package in tow. "I know this one. Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum. They won't be able to handle this either." @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) came into view. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism. Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) had just left. "What? How?" As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) barely heard @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!" @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
06:01:17: Today started as a uniquely bright one for @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson). A wonderful breakfast. "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) mused, "Why ruin a good thing? I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery." @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal. "Ah, that's the one. I'm here already." @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) to come running down the road, package in tow. "I know this one. Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum. They won't be able to handle this either." @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) came into view. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism. Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) had just left. "What? How?" As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) barely heard @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!" @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
07:01:08: @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo)'s adrenaline. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo). "Not today, my friend." @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
07:43:35: @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) stumbles into their own trap: a hole dug in the ground full of Ixyotik Death Wasps meant to ensure @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo)'s destruction. Instead @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) resumes on their way, @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s agonizing screams ringing in their ears.
07:43:39: @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) misses their double-fisted pistol shots. A sad attempt involving a total of 24 rounds fired at @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo). @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) resumes delivery of their package.
07:43:42: @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) steadily took aim from a second story window as @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
07:43:46: @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) steadily took aim from a second story window as @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
07:43:49: @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) misses their double-fisted pistol shots. A sad attempt involving a total of 24 rounds fired at @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo). @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) resumes delivery of their package.
07:43:52: @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) stumbles into their own trap: a hole dug in the ground full of Ixyotik Death Wasps meant to ensure @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo)'s destruction. Instead @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) resumes on their way, @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s agonizing screams ringing in their ears.
07:43:55: @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) takes two shotgun blasts directly to the spine from @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine), who continues on their way with the package. "Parcel transferred." @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) will be paying a deductible to get this fixed.
08:14:15: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) misses their double-fisted pistol shots. A sad attempt involving a total of 24 rounds fired at @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine). @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) resumes delivery of their package.
08:46:30: @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) fires two pistol shots at @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s kneecaps, dropping them to their knees. "Parcel transferred."
09:07:23: The delivery point only has one way in, about a hundred yards away from a gated entry. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) has taken the precaution of wrapping that entire entry-way with barbed wire. The only issue with barbed wire in this day and age is that once spotted, it can be avoided. @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) ignites their rocket boots, attempting to vault over the death trap. @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) almost makes it, but is caught on their ankles, immediately becoming a tangled bloody mess in @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco)'s trap. Frantic, @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) activates their shield generator which creates a kinetic field of energy around their body, and it successfully severs most of the barbed wire. Limping, @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) hustles towards the remainder of the delivery path, lobbing grenades over their shoulder. As @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) manically runs after @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) firing rounds in their direction, they are caught in one of @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo)'s grenades, losing a leg. @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) continues, hobbling, towards the delivery point.
10:12:56: @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) does not normally mourn death. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) is accustomed to the loss of those they meet, in one capacity or another. But that last death. A split second of @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) thinking about it meant they were a split second too late on the trigger as @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) emerged from the parking garage, package in tow. The shot missed. @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) dove, taking a shot mid-air. @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) was not thinking about human connection, unlike @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson). This is arguably why @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) was shot in the gut. @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) resumes their delivery, package in tow.
11:19:53: @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco). Luckily, @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) vaulted over it, only severing one foot. @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
12:14:10: There are automatic rifles and there are these. The GZNKA tank killer is surprisingly light as @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) hefts it on their shoulder. The rounds are known to puncture holes two feet wide through heavy ship armor, and are held in a backpack and fed via sling. It is this reason alone that @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) has used it, targeting @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo)'s ship as it races across the horizon. However, @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo)'s ship is not only retrofitted with two meter thick armor, but also an electronic shielding system. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson)'s rounds do find their way through the shields, but only make it one foot into the armor. @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) dips their ship, skirting past @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) and giving them third degree thruster burns across half of their body.
12:53:49: Package delivered by Bacon Moo for $340,000