04:03:08: Package picked up by Shadowrabbit Clayguy
04:03:09: @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson). Luckily, @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) vaulted over it, only severing one foot. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
04:13:07: @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s adrenaline. @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy). "Not today, my friend." @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
04:13:22: @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) stumbles into their own trap: a hole dug in the ground full of Ixyotik Death Wasps meant to ensure @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s destruction. Instead @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) resumes on their way, @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial)'s agonizing screams ringing in their ears.
04:13:27: @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) leaps off of a second story building on to a tall dumpster, shortening the fall. Unfortunately this dumpster is full of explosives placed by @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial). @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) smiles as they plunge their thumb onto the detonator switch, their face ignited by a pillar of flames as @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) is incinerated. @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) throws the detonator over their shoulder as they pick up the package that rolls to their feet as if it was meant for them. @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) breaks into a fast run, taking the stolen package with them. "Parcel transferred," emits from their delivery bracelet signifying even more credits to be earned. "Parcel transferred, indeed," @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) whispers in reply.
04:17:19: Someone once told @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) got one over on @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) once before. So definitely, for @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy), that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) see's @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) running hurriedly down the street. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) did not see before. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
04:17:26: @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) has managed to somehow evade theft of the package thus far. @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) is feeling good. DAMN good. Unfortunately that feeling is momentarily suspended as a shot rings out, severing a cable holding up a net full of 700 pounds of refuse with a sign that has "Eat My Fuck - Cheers, @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)" scrawled on it in pink paint. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) picks up the package which lies next to the mangled limbs of @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial). Fuck eaten. Good job, @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy). "Parcel Transferred." You have the package. Now get that sucker to the finish line.
05:01:17: @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) is impaled on a lengthy spear with a laser tip by @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) after a failed package theft attempt. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) resumes on their way.
06:01:17: @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s adrenaline. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy). "Not today, my friend." @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
07:00:39: @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) steadily took aim from a second story window as @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
08:00:40: @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) tried to sneak on board @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) continues their delivery.
09:00:47: @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco). Luckily, @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) vaulted over it, only severing one foot. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
10:01:09: Today started as a uniquely bright one for @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson). A wonderful breakfast. "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) mused, "Why ruin a good thing? I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery." @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal. "Ah, that's the one. I'm here already." @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) to come running down the road, package in tow. "I know this one. Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum. They won't be able to handle this either." @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) came into view. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism. Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) had just left. "What? How?" As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) barely heard @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!" @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
11:01:08: @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco). Luckily, @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) vaulted over it, only severing one foot. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
12:01:09: Someone once told @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) that the best way to handle this job is if you keep it strictly business. Not personal. Do not concern yourself with revenge. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) knows @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) has stolen one too many packages from them before, but brushes the sweat from their brow, banishing that memory. The heaviness of the EK40 surface to air missile launcher is starting to wear on @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) but the time is almost here. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s ship comes over the horizon. There it is. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson)'s finger closes around the trigger loosely, causing the launcher to commence lock-on. A small repetitive beep turns into a single tone, signaling the moment for action. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) is surprised however as the rocket launches behind them instead of in front due to user error. This mistake would sting @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) the most, if not for the tower of rocket fuel they have chosen as their location. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s ship rolls successfully by the towering pyre of incinerating flame, package still in tow.
12:04:14: Package delivered by Shadowrabbit Clayguy for $280,000