18:15:54: Package picked up by Feisty Gazebo
18:15:55: Feisty Gazebo is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but Feisty Gazebo smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. Feisty Gazebo lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises Feisty Gazebo's adrenaline. Mac Nielson fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of Feisty Gazebo. "Not today, my friend." Feisty Gazebo twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting Mac Nielson four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
19:11:19: Feisty Gazebo is bloody from head to toe after a rough number of successful entanglements. "Geronimo, fuckstick!" They look up at the voice and see a a dot in the sky. It quickly turns into two dots: a sky born Leroy Palestine on a rocket powered hang-glider, and the portable thermonuclear device they've dropped. "Parcel transferred," can be heard from dispatch as Leroy Palestine swoops past the mangled corpse and snags the package.
19:11:37: Feisty Gazebo steadily took aim from a second story window as Leroy Palestine ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, Feisty Gazebo inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. Leroy Palestine resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
19:11:47: Leroy Palestine is bloody from head to toe after a rough number of successful entanglements. "Geronimo, fuckstick!" They look up at the voice and see a a dot in the sky. It quickly turns into two dots: a sky born Feisty Gazebo on a rocket powered hang-glider, and the portable thermonuclear device they've dropped. "Parcel transferred," can be heard from dispatch as Feisty Gazebo swoops past the mangled corpse and snags the package.
19:12:00: Long Dread steadily took aim from a second story window as Feisty Gazebo ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, Long Dread inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. Feisty Gazebo resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
19:12:06: Feisty Gazebo is bloody from head to toe after a rough number of successful entanglements. "Geronimo, fuckstick!" They look up at the voice and see a a dot in the sky. It quickly turns into two dots: a sky born Long Dread on a rocket powered hang-glider, and the portable thermonuclear device they've dropped. "Parcel transferred," can be heard from dispatch as Long Dread swoops past the mangled corpse and snags the package.
19:12:16: Today started as a uniquely bright one for Feisty Gazebo. A wonderful breakfast. "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover. Feisty Gazebo mused, "Why ruin a good thing? I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery." Feisty Gazebo took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal. "Ah, that's the one. I'm here already." Feisty Gazebo put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod. Feisty Gazebo crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for Long Dread to come running down the road, package in tow. "I know this one. Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum. They won't be able to handle this either." Long Dread came into view. Feisty Gazebo pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism. Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode Feisty Gazebo had just left. "What? How?" As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, Feisty Gazebo barely heard Long Dread running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!" Long Dread continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
19:12:23: Today started as a uniquely bright one for Feisty Gazebo. A wonderful breakfast. "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover. Feisty Gazebo mused, "Why ruin a good thing? I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery." Feisty Gazebo took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal. "Ah, that's the one. I'm here already." Feisty Gazebo put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod. Feisty Gazebo crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for Long Dread to come running down the road, package in tow. "I know this one. Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum. They won't be able to handle this either." Long Dread came into view. Feisty Gazebo pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism. Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode Feisty Gazebo had just left. "What? How?" As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, Feisty Gazebo barely heard Long Dread running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!" Long Dread continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
19:12:31: Long Dread leaps off of a second story building on to a tall dumpster, shortening the fall. Unfortunately this dumpster is full of explosives placed by Feisty Gazebo. Feisty Gazebo smiles as they plunge their thumb onto the detonator switch, their face ignited by a pillar of flames as Long Dread is incinerated. Feisty Gazebo throws the detonator over their shoulder as they pick up the package that rolls to their feet as if it was meant for them. Feisty Gazebo breaks into a fast run, taking the stolen package with them. "Parcel transferred," emits from their delivery bracelet signifying even more credits to be earned. "Parcel transferred, indeed," Feisty Gazebo whispers in reply.
19:12:36: Feisty Gazebo leaps off of a second story building on to a tall dumpster, shortening the fall. Unfortunately this dumpster is full of explosives placed by Long Dread. Long Dread smiles as they plunge their thumb onto the detonator switch, their face ignited by a pillar of flames as Feisty Gazebo is incinerated. Long Dread throws the detonator over their shoulder as they pick up the package that rolls to their feet as if it was meant for them. Long Dread breaks into a fast run, taking the stolen package with them. "Parcel transferred," emits from their delivery bracelet signifying even more credits to be earned. "Parcel transferred, indeed," Long Dread whispers in reply.
19:12:42: Feisty Gazebo steadily took aim from a second story window as Long Dread ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, Feisty Gazebo inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. Long Dread resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
19:12:51: Someone once told Feisty Gazebo the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. Long Dread got one over on Feisty Gazebo once before. So definitely, for Feisty Gazebo, that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. Feisty Gazebo stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. Feisty Gazebo see's Long Dread running hurriedly down the street. Feisty Gazebo takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. Feisty Gazebo ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. Long Dread doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that Feisty Gazebo did not see before. Feisty Gazebo takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see Long Dread escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
19:12:57: Someone once told Feisty Gazebo the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. Long Dread got one over on Feisty Gazebo once before. So definitely, for Feisty Gazebo, that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. Feisty Gazebo stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. Feisty Gazebo see's Long Dread running hurriedly down the street. Feisty Gazebo takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. Feisty Gazebo ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. Long Dread doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that Feisty Gazebo did not see before. Feisty Gazebo takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see Long Dread escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
19:13:04: Feisty Gazebo tried to sneak on board Long Dread's ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt. Long Dread continues their delivery.
19:13:12: Feisty Gazebo tried to sneak on board Long Dread's ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt. Long Dread continues their delivery.
19:13:41: Feisty Gazebo steadily took aim from a second story window as Long Dread ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, Feisty Gazebo inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. Long Dread resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
19:13:49: Feisty Gazebo tried to sneak on board Long Dread's ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt. Long Dread continues their delivery.
19:14:13: Long Dread took a shortcut due to a fake sign placed by Feisty Gazebo, tripping over a portable road spike, and then landing in a field of Guruvian Nesters, an exotic species known for their sexual appetite. Feisty Gazebo currently has the package.
19:14:38: Feisty Gazebo has managed to somehow evade theft of the package thus far. Feisty Gazebo is feeling good. DAMN good. Unfortunately that feeling is momentarily suspended as a shot rings out, severing a cable holding up a net full of 700 pounds of refuse with a sign that has "Eat My Fuck - Cheers, Long Dread" scrawled on it in pink paint. Long Dread picks up the package which lies next to the mangled limbs of Feisty Gazebo. Fuck eaten. Good job, Long Dread. "Parcel Transferred." You have the package. Now get that sucker to the finish line.
19:15:55: Package delivered by Long Dread for $380,000