07:47:21: Package picked up by Feisty Gazebo
07:47:22: Blaylock Samson tried to sneak on board Feisty Gazebo's ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt. Feisty Gazebo continues their delivery.
13:57:12: Feisty Gazebo was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by Column McClowed. Luckily, Feisty Gazebo vaulted over it, only severing one foot. Feisty Gazebo resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
13:57:22: Feisty Gazebo is bloody from head to toe after a rough number of successful entanglements. "Geronimo, fuckstick!" They look up at the voice and see a a dot in the sky. It quickly turns into two dots: a sky born Column McClowed on a rocket powered hang-glider, and the portable thermonuclear device they've dropped. "Parcel transferred," can be heard from dispatch as Column McClowed swoops past the mangled corpse and snags the package.
14:11:41: Someone once told Calto Fremis the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. Column McClowed got one over on Calto Fremis once before. So definitely, for Calto Fremis, that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. Calto Fremis stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. Calto Fremis see's Column McClowed running hurriedly down the street. Calto Fremis takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. Calto Fremis ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. Column McClowed doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that Calto Fremis did not see before. Calto Fremis takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see Column McClowed escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
15:16:37: Someone once told Sable Nyx that the best way to handle this job is if you keep it strictly business. Not personal. Do not concern yourself with revenge. Sable Nyx knows Column McClowed has stolen one too many packages from them before, but brushes the sweat from their brow, banishing that memory. The heaviness of the EK40 surface to air missile launcher is starting to wear on Sable Nyx but the time is almost here. Column McClowed's ship comes over the horizon. There it is. Sable Nyx's finger closes around the trigger loosely, causing the launcher to commence lock-on. A small repetitive beep turns into a single tone, signaling the moment for action. Sable Nyx is surprised however as the rocket launches behind them instead of in front due to user error. This mistake would sting Sable Nyx the most, if not for the tower of rocket fuel they have chosen as their location. Column McClowed's ship rolls successfully by the towering pyre of incinerating flame, package still in tow.
15:16:41: Column McClowed was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by Sable Nyx. Luckily, Column McClowed vaulted over it, only severing one foot. Column McClowed resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
15:16:54: The smell of Column McClowed's completely immolated ship flares up Sable Nyx's nostrils as a tow cable yanks the package from the flaming wreck. "Parcel transferred" emit's from Sable Nyx's bracelet, signaling more credits to be made. Sable Nyx continues towards the delivery point, package in tow.
15:26:48: Sable Nyx was feeling THAT feeling. The feeling of the win just over the horizon. A smile crept across Sable Nyx's face, thinking of exactly what they would use these credits to purchase, when Calto Fremis launched an electrified bola at their feet. Sable Nyx can't quite internalize that the most painful step is also the most confident, as a dart is lodged into their neck before Sable Nyx's head even hits the ground, bringing on many hours of sleep. Calto Fremis smiles as their delivery bracelet emits the familiar "Parcel transferred" message.
15:29:28: Calto Fremis took a shortcut due to a fake sign placed by Sable Nyx, tripping over a portable road spike, and then landing in a field of Guruvian Nesters, an exotic species known for their sexual appetite. Sable Nyx currently has the package.
15:35:16: Sable Nyx has managed to somehow evade theft of the package thus far. Sable Nyx is feeling good. DAMN good. Unfortunately that feeling is momentarily suspended as a shot rings out, severing a cable holding up a net full of 700 pounds of refuse with a sign that has "Eat My Fuck - Cheers, Calto Fremis" scrawled on it in pink paint. Calto Fremis picks up the package which lies next to the mangled limbs of Sable Nyx. Fuck eaten. Good job, Calto Fremis. "Parcel Transferred." You have the package. Now get that sucker to the finish line.
15:47:36: Package delivered by Calto Fremis for $200,000