07:14:31: Package picked up by Leroy Palestine
07:14:32: Someone once told Blaylock Samson the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. Leroy Palestine got one over on Blaylock Samson once before. So definitely, for Blaylock Samson, that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. Blaylock Samson stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. Blaylock Samson see's Leroy Palestine running hurriedly down the street. Blaylock Samson takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. Blaylock Samson ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. Leroy Palestine doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that Blaylock Samson did not see before. Blaylock Samson takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see Leroy Palestine escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
08:00:37: Someone once told Mac Nielson the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. Leroy Palestine got one over on Mac Nielson once before. So definitely, for Mac Nielson, that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. Mac Nielson stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. Mac Nielson see's Leroy Palestine running hurriedly down the street. Mac Nielson takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. Mac Nielson ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. Leroy Palestine doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that Mac Nielson did not see before. Mac Nielson takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see Leroy Palestine escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
09:00:43: Ignoracious Buttafucco is impaled on a lengthy spear with a laser tip by Leroy Palestine after a failed package theft attempt. Leroy Palestine resumes on their way.
09:52:43: Leroy Palestine was feeling THAT feeling. The feeling of the win just over the horizon. A smile crept across Leroy Palestine's face, thinking of exactly what they would use these credits to purchase, when Sonny Bill Spider launched an electrified bola at their feet. Leroy Palestine can't quite internalize that the most painful step is also the most confident, as a dart is lodged into their neck before Leroy Palestine's head even hits the ground, bringing on many hours of sleep. Sonny Bill Spider smiles as their delivery bracelet emits the familiar "Parcel transferred" message.
10:00:17: There are automatic rifles and there are these. The GZNKA tank killer is surprisingly light as Blaylock Samson hefts it on their shoulder. The rounds are known to puncture holes two feet wide through heavy ship armor, and are held in a backpack and fed via sling. It is this reason alone that Blaylock Samson has used it, targeting Sonny Bill Spider's ship as it races across the horizon. However, Sonny Bill Spider's ship is not only retrofitted with two meter thick armor, but also an electronic shielding system. Blaylock Samson's rounds do find their way through the shields, but only make it one foot into the armor. Sonny Bill Spider dips their ship, skirting past Blaylock Samson and giving them third degree thruster burns across half of their body.
11:00:23: Sonny Bill Spider is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but Sonny Bill Spider smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. Sonny Bill Spider lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises Sonny Bill Spider's adrenaline. Blaylock Samson fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of Sonny Bill Spider. "Not today, my friend." Sonny Bill Spider twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting Blaylock Samson four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
11:14:45: Package delivered by Sonny Bill Spider for $120,000