12:38:00: Package picked up by Shadowrabbit Clayguy
12:38:01: @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson).  Luckily, @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) vaulted over it, only severing one foot.  @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
13:02:47: Someone once told @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) the best way to handle this job is like it's personal.  Not business.  @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) got one over on @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) once before.  So definitely, for @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson), that advice hits close to the chest.  No guns.  Not this time.  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) stakes out the area.  Hides in the shadows.  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) see's @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) running hurriedly down the street.  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling.  Certainly safer.  No.  It's time for revenge.  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip.  @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) did not see before.  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) escaping with the package still in tow far down the road.  Don't worry.  The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
14:00:18: @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) tried to sneak on board @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt.  @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) continues their delivery.
14:55:48: Someone once told @peepso_user_383(Weslon Campbell) that the best way to handle this job is if you keep it strictly business.  Not personal.  Do not concern yourself with revenge.  @peepso_user_383(Weslon Campbell) knows @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) has stolen one too many packages from them before, but brushes the sweat from their brow, banishing that memory.  The heaviness of the EK40 surface to air missile launcher is starting to wear on @peepso_user_383(Weslon Campbell) but the time is almost here.  @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s ship comes over the horizon.  There it is. @peepso_user_383(Weslon Campbell)'s finger closes around the trigger loosely, causing the launcher to commence lock-on.  A small repetitive beep turns into a single tone, signaling the moment for action.  @peepso_user_383(Weslon Campbell) is surprised however as the rocket launches behind them instead of in front due to user error.  This mistake would sting @peepso_user_383(Weslon Campbell) the most, if not for the tower of rocket fuel they have chosen as their location.  @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s ship rolls successfully by the towering pyre of incinerating flame, package still in tow.
15:19:06: There are automatic rifles and there are these.  The GZNKA tank killer is surprisingly light as @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) hefts it on their shoulder.  The rounds are known to puncture holes two feet wide through heavy ship armor, and are held in a backpack and fed via sling.  It is this reason alone that @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) has used it, targeting @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s ship as it races across the horizon.  However, @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s ship is not only retrofitted with two meter thick armor, but also an electronic shielding system.  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson)'s rounds do find their way through the shields, but only make it one foot into the armor.  @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) dips their ship, skirting past @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) and giving them third degree thruster burns across half of their body.
16:01:00: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) misses their double-fisted pistol shots.   A sad attempt involving a total of 24 rounds fired at @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy).  @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) resumes delivery of their package.
17:01:06: Today started as a uniquely bright one for @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson).  A wonderful breakfast.  "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover.  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) mused, "Why ruin a good thing?  I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery."  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal.  "Ah, that's the one.  I'm here already."  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod.  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) to come running down the road, package in tow.  "I know this one.  Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum.  They won't be able to handle this either."  @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) came into view.  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism.  Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) had just left.  "What?  How?"  As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) barely heard @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!"  @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
18:01:05: There are automatic rifles and there are these.  The GZNKA tank killer is surprisingly light as @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) hefts it on their shoulder.  The rounds are known to puncture holes two feet wide through heavy ship armor, and are held in a backpack and fed via sling.  It is this reason alone that @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) has used it, targeting @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s ship as it races across the horizon.  However, @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s ship is not only retrofitted with two meter thick armor, but also an electronic shielding system.  @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson)'s rounds do find their way through the shields, but only make it one foot into the armor.  @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) dips their ship, skirting past @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) and giving them third degree thruster burns across half of their body.
19:01:04: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) tried to sneak on board @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt.  @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) continues their delivery.
20:01:03: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) stumbles into their own trap:  a hole dug in the ground full of Ixyotik Death Wasps meant to ensure @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s destruction.  Instead @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) resumes on their way, @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco)'s agonizing screams ringing in their ears.
20:38:02: Package delivered by Shadowrabbit Clayguy for $200,000