04:23:17: Package picked up by Shadowrabbit Clayguy
04:23:18: @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads.  Dangerous territory.  A field of Space Bastards, but @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) smiles.  Winners aren't born; they're built.  @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below.  One failed attempt.  Two.  Three.  Four.  Each attempted theft of the package raises @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s adrenaline.  @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy).  "Not today, my friend."  @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
05:01:09: @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) tried to sneak on board @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt.  @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) continues their delivery.
05:59:16: @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) does not normally mourn death.  @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) is accustomed to the loss of those they meet, in one capacity or another.  But that last death.  A split second of @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) thinking about it meant they were a split second too late on the trigger as @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) emerged from the parking garage, package in tow.  The shot missed.  @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) dove, taking a shot mid-air.  @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) was not thinking about human connection, unlike @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial).  This is arguably why @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) was shot in the gut.  @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) resumes their delivery, package in tow.
05:59:32: @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) took a shortcut due to a fake sign placed by @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial), tripping over a portable road spike, and then landing in a field of Guruvian Nesters, an exotic species known for their sexual appetite.  @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) currently has the package.
06:00:16: @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) has managed to somehow evade theft of the package thus far.  @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) is feeling good.  DAMN good.  Unfortunately that feeling is momentarily suspended as a shot rings out, severing a cable holding up a net full of 700 pounds of refuse with a sign that has "Eat My Fuck - Cheers, @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)" scrawled on it in pink paint.  @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) picks up the package which lies next to the mangled limbs of @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial).  Fuck eaten.  Good job, @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy).  "Parcel Transferred."  You have the package.  Now get that sucker to the finish line.
06:00:48: @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) tried to sneak on board @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt.  @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) continues their delivery.
06:17:00: @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) successfully spears @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) to a wall through their chest.  @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) has time to yell, "You bastard," as @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) snags the package from the ground in front of them.  "Parcel transferred."
06:19:36: As @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) rounds a corner, they are distracted for more than a split second by a hastily posted cardboard cut-out of a Zyxxan Hound fornicating with a famous human politician from centuries before.  This momentarily lapse in focus is all @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) needs in order to slam a large whirring chainsaw into the chest of @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial).  "Parcel transferred."
06:30:18: @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial)'s ship fires two nuclear torpedos into @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s ship, instantly incinerating it.  The package is snagged by a lengthy magnetic tow cable.  "Parcel transferred."
07:00:14: @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) does not normally mourn death.  @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) is accustomed to the loss of those they meet, in one capacity or another.  But that last death.  A split second of @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) thinking about it meant they were a split second too late on the trigger as @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) emerged from the parking garage, package in tow.  The shot missed.  @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) dove, taking a shot mid-air.  @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) was not thinking about human connection, unlike @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson).  This is arguably why @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) was shot in the gut.  @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) resumes their delivery, package in tow.
08:00:41: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) tried to sneak on board @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial)'s ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt.  @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) continues their delivery.
09:01:13: Someone once told @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) that the best way to handle this job is if you keep it strictly business.  Not personal.  Do not concern yourself with revenge.  @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) knows @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) has stolen one too many packages from them before, but brushes the sweat from their brow, banishing that memory.  The heaviness of the EK40 surface to air missile launcher is starting to wear on @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) but the time is almost here.  @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial)'s ship comes over the horizon.  There it is. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco)'s finger closes around the trigger loosely, causing the launcher to commence lock-on.  A small repetitive beep turns into a single tone, signaling the moment for action.  @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) is surprised however as the rocket launches behind them instead of in front due to user error.  This mistake would sting @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) the most, if not for the tower of rocket fuel they have chosen as their location.  @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial)'s ship rolls successfully by the towering pyre of incinerating flame, package still in tow.
09:55:28: @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) took a shortcut due to a fake sign placed by @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy), tripping over a portable road spike, and then landing in a field of Guruvian Nesters, an exotic species known for their sexual appetite.  @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) currently has the package.
10:01:01: Someone once told @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) that the best way to handle this job is if you keep it strictly business.  Not personal.  Do not concern yourself with revenge.  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) knows @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) has stolen one too many packages from them before, but brushes the sweat from their brow, banishing that memory.  The heaviness of the EK40 surface to air missile launcher is starting to wear on @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) but the time is almost here.  @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s ship comes over the horizon.  There it is. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson)'s finger closes around the trigger loosely, causing the launcher to commence lock-on.  A small repetitive beep turns into a single tone, signaling the moment for action.  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) is surprised however as the rocket launches behind them instead of in front due to user error.  This mistake would sting @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) the most, if not for the tower of rocket fuel they have chosen as their location.  @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s ship rolls successfully by the towering pyre of incinerating flame, package still in tow.
11:01:16: @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) steadily took aim from a second story window as @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) ran by below.  Sweat dotting their forehead, @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger.  It was a miss.  @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
12:00:11: @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) does not normally mourn death.  @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) is accustomed to the loss of those they meet, in one capacity or another.  But that last death.  A split second of @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) thinking about it meant they were a split second too late on the trigger as @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) emerged from the parking garage, package in tow.  The shot missed.  @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) dove, taking a shot mid-air.  @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) was not thinking about human connection, unlike @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson).  This is arguably why @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) was shot in the gut.  @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) resumes their delivery, package in tow.
12:23:38: Package delivered by Shadowrabbit Clayguy for $320,000