11:36:21: Package picked up by Jack Corbeau
11:36:22: @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) misses their double-fisted pistol shots. A sad attempt involving a total of 24 rounds fired at @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau). @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) resumes delivery of their package.
11:43:35: There are automatic rifles and there are these. The GZNKA tank killer is surprisingly light as @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) hefts it on their shoulder. The rounds are known to puncture holes two feet wide through heavy ship armor, and are held in a backpack and fed via sling. It is this reason alone that @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) has used it, targeting @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau)'s ship as it races across the horizon. However, @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau)'s ship is not only retrofitted with two meter thick armor, but also an electronic shielding system. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s rounds do find their way through the shields, but only make it one foot into the armor. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) dips their ship, skirting past @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) and giving them third degree thruster burns across half of their body.
11:43:43: @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s ship fires two nuclear torpedos into @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau)'s ship, instantly incinerating it. The package is snagged by a lengthy magnetic tow cable. "Parcel transferred."
11:51:30: As @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) rounds a corner, they are distracted for more than a split second by a hastily posted cardboard cut-out of a Zyxxan Hound fornicating with a famous human politician from centuries before. This momentarily lapse in focus is all @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) needs in order to slam a large whirring chainsaw into the chest of @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy). "Parcel transferred."
12:01:03: @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco). Luckily, @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) vaulted over it, only severing one foot. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
13:01:02: @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) steadily took aim from a second story window as @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
14:00:54: @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) tried to sneak on board @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau)'s ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) continues their delivery.
15:00:11: Someone once told @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) got one over on @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) once before. So definitely, for @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson), that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) see's @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) running hurriedly down the street. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) did not see before. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see @peepso_user_451(Jack Corbeau) escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
15:36:57: Package delivered by Jack Corbeau for $160,000