12:47:37: Package picked up by Shadowrabbit Clayguy
12:47:39: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) steadily took aim from a second story window as @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
13:00:45: Someone once told @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) that the best way to handle this job is if you keep it strictly business. Not personal. Do not concern yourself with revenge. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) knows @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) has stolen one too many packages from them before, but brushes the sweat from their brow, banishing that memory. The heaviness of the EK40 surface to air missile launcher is starting to wear on @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) but the time is almost here. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s ship comes over the horizon. There it is. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson)'s finger closes around the trigger loosely, causing the launcher to commence lock-on. A small repetitive beep turns into a single tone, signaling the moment for action. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) is surprised however as the rocket launches behind them instead of in front due to user error. This mistake would sting @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) the most, if not for the tower of rocket fuel they have chosen as their location. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s ship rolls successfully by the towering pyre of incinerating flame, package still in tow.
14:04:09: @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s adrenaline. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy). "Not today, my friend." @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
15:10:07: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) is impaled on a lengthy spear with a laser tip by @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) after a failed package theft attempt. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) resumes on their way.
16:02:41: @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) misses their double-fisted pistol shots. A sad attempt involving a total of 24 rounds fired at @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy). @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) resumes delivery of their package.
17:00:21: @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco). Luckily, @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) vaulted over it, only severing one foot. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
18:03:03: Someone once told @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) got one over on @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) once before. So definitely, for @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco), that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) see's @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) running hurriedly down the street. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) did not see before. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
19:13:40: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) tried to sneak on board @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) continues their delivery.
20:00:10: @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) misses their double-fisted pistol shots. A sad attempt involving a total of 24 rounds fired at @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy). @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) resumes delivery of their package.
20:56:47: Package delivered by Shadowrabbit Clayguy for $180,000