14:25:46: Package picked up by Sassafras Root
14:25:47: @peepso_user_319(Sassafras Root) is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads.  Dangerous territory.  A field of Space Bastards, but @peepso_user_319(Sassafras Root) smiles.  Winners aren't born; they're built.  @peepso_user_319(Sassafras Root) lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below.  One failed attempt.  Two.  Three.  Four.  Each attempted theft of the package raises @peepso_user_319(Sassafras Root)'s adrenaline.  @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of @peepso_user_319(Sassafras Root).  "Not today, my friend."  @peepso_user_319(Sassafras Root) twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
15:00:02: Someone once told @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) the best way to handle this job is like it's personal.  Not business.  @peepso_user_319(Sassafras Root) got one over on @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) once before.  So definitely, for @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco), that advice hits close to the chest.  No guns.  Not this time.  @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) stakes out the area.  Hides in the shadows.  @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) see's @peepso_user_319(Sassafras Root) running hurriedly down the street.  @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling.  Certainly safer.  No.  It's time for revenge.  @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip.  @peepso_user_319(Sassafras Root) doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) did not see before.  @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see @peepso_user_319(Sassafras Root) escaping with the package still in tow far down the road.  Don't worry.  The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
15:30:18: Package delivered by Sassafras Root for $40,000