15:22:55: Package picked up by Long Dread
15:22:56: Ignoracious Buttafucco is impaled on a lengthy spear with a laser tip by Long Dread after a failed package theft attempt. Long Dread resumes on their way.
16:00:54: Ignoracious Buttafucco stumbles into their own trap: a hole dug in the ground full of Ixyotik Death Wasps meant to ensure Long Dread's destruction. Instead Long Dread resumes on their way, Ignoracious Buttafucco's agonizing screams ringing in their ears.
17:00:53: Blaylock Samson does not normally mourn death. Blaylock Samson is accustomed to the loss of those they meet, in one capacity or another. But that last death. A split second of Blaylock Samson thinking about it meant they were a split second too late on the trigger as Long Dread emerged from the parking garage, package in tow. The shot missed. Long Dread dove, taking a shot mid-air. Long Dread was not thinking about human connection, unlike Blaylock Samson. This is arguably why Blaylock Samson was shot in the gut. Long Dread resumes their delivery, package in tow.
18:00:52: Mac Nielson steadily took aim from a second story window as Long Dread ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, Mac Nielson inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. Long Dread resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
18:57:13: Leroy Palestine tried to sneak on board Long Dread's ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt. Long Dread continues their delivery.
18:57:18: Leroy Palestine's ship rams head-first into Long Dread's ship, utilizing a superheated prow to disintegrate Long Dread's cockpit. The package is snagged by Leroy Palestine after a daring space walk. "Parcel transferred."
19:00:48: Someone once told Ignoracious Buttafucco that the best way to handle this job is if you keep it strictly business. Not personal. Do not concern yourself with revenge. Ignoracious Buttafucco knows Leroy Palestine has stolen one too many packages from them before, but brushes the sweat from their brow, banishing that memory. The heaviness of the EK40 surface to air missile launcher is starting to wear on Ignoracious Buttafucco but the time is almost here. Leroy Palestine's ship comes over the horizon. There it is. Ignoracious Buttafucco's finger closes around the trigger loosely, causing the launcher to commence lock-on. A small repetitive beep turns into a single tone, signaling the moment for action. Ignoracious Buttafucco is surprised however as the rocket launches behind them instead of in front due to user error. This mistake would sting Ignoracious Buttafucco the most, if not for the tower of rocket fuel they have chosen as their location. Leroy Palestine's ship rolls successfully by the towering pyre of incinerating flame, package still in tow.
19:23:41: Package delivered by Leroy Palestine for $140,000