17:05:20: Package picked up by Harrison Ware
17:05:21: Today started as a uniquely bright one for Mac Nielson.  A wonderful breakfast.  "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover.  Mac Nielson mused, "Why ruin a good thing?  I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery."  Mac Nielson took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal.  "Ah, that's the one.  I'm here already."  Mac Nielson put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod.  Mac Nielson crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for Harrison Ware to come running down the road, package in tow.  "I know this one.  Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum.  They won't be able to handle this either."  Harrison Ware came into view.  Mac Nielson pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism.  Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode Mac Nielson had just left.  "What?  How?"  As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, Mac Nielson barely heard Harrison Ware running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!"  Harrison Ware continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
17:20:23: Leroy Palestine shot a missile at Harrison Ware and obliterated their ship. All that was left was the package which was picked up and continued its journey with Leroy Palestine.
17:29:00: Leroy Palestine has managed to somehow evade theft of the package thus far.  Leroy Palestine is feeling good.  DAMN good.  Unfortunately that feeling is momentarily suspended as a shot rings out, severing a cable holding up a net full of 700 pounds of refuse with a sign that has "Eat My Fuck - Cheers, Jax TellHER" scrawled on it in pink paint.  Jax TellHER picks up the package which lies next to the mangled limbs of Leroy Palestine.  Fuck eaten.  Good job, Jax TellHER.  "Parcel Transferred."  You have the package.  Now get that sucker to the finish line.
18:05:21: Package delivered by Jax TellHER for $60,000