02:54:00: Package picked up by Corvus Wyatt
02:54:01: Today started as a uniquely bright one for @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco). A wonderful breakfast. "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) mused, "Why ruin a good thing? I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery." @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal. "Ah, that's the one. I'm here already." @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for @peepso_user_85(Corvus Wyatt) to come running down the road, package in tow. "I know this one. Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum. They won't be able to handle this either." @peepso_user_85(Corvus Wyatt) came into view. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism. Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) had just left. "What? How?" As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) barely heard @peepso_user_85(Corvus Wyatt) running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!" @peepso_user_85(Corvus Wyatt) continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
03:01:04: The delivery point only has one way in, about a hundred yards away from a gated entry. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) has taken the precaution of wrapping that entire entry-way with barbed wire. The only issue with barbed wire in this day and age is that once spotted, it can be avoided. @peepso_user_85(Corvus Wyatt) ignites their rocket boots, attempting to vault over the death trap. @peepso_user_85(Corvus Wyatt) almost makes it, but is caught on their ankles, immediately becoming a tangled bloody mess in @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson)'s trap. Frantic, @peepso_user_85(Corvus Wyatt) activates their shield generator which creates a kinetic field of energy around their body, and it successfully severs most of the barbed wire. Limping, @peepso_user_85(Corvus Wyatt) hustles towards the remainder of the delivery path, lobbing grenades over their shoulder. As @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) manically runs after @peepso_user_85(Corvus Wyatt) firing rounds in their direction, they are caught in one of @peepso_user_85(Corvus Wyatt)'s grenades, losing a leg. @peepso_user_85(Corvus Wyatt) continues, hobbling, towards the delivery point.
03:01:10: Someone once told @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) that the best way to handle this job is if you keep it strictly business. Not personal. Do not concern yourself with revenge. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) knows @peepso_user_85(Corvus Wyatt) has stolen one too many packages from them before, but brushes the sweat from their brow, banishing that memory. The heaviness of the EK40 surface to air missile launcher is starting to wear on @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) but the time is almost here. @peepso_user_85(Corvus Wyatt)'s ship comes over the horizon. There it is. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s finger closes around the trigger loosely, causing the launcher to commence lock-on. A small repetitive beep turns into a single tone, signaling the moment for action. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) is surprised however as the rocket launches behind them instead of in front due to user error. This mistake would sting @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) the most, if not for the tower of rocket fuel they have chosen as their location. @peepso_user_85(Corvus Wyatt)'s ship rolls successfully by the towering pyre of incinerating flame, package still in tow.
03:01:15: @peepso_user_85(Corvus Wyatt) leaps off of a second story building on to a tall dumpster, shortening the fall. Unfortunately this dumpster is full of explosives placed by @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine). @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) smiles as they plunge their thumb onto the detonator switch, their face ignited by a pillar of flames as @peepso_user_85(Corvus Wyatt) is incinerated. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) throws the detonator over their shoulder as they pick up the package that rolls to their feet as if it was meant for them. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) breaks into a fast run, taking the stolen package with them. "Parcel transferred," emits from their delivery bracelet signifying even more credits to be earned. "Parcel transferred, indeed," @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) whispers in reply.
03:47:15: @peepso_user_85(Corvus Wyatt) misses their double-fisted pistol shots. A sad attempt involving a total of 24 rounds fired at @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine). @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) resumes delivery of their package.
03:47:19: @peepso_user_85(Corvus Wyatt) fires two pistol shots at @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s kneecaps, dropping them to their knees. "Parcel transferred."
04:04:08: @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) misses their double-fisted pistol shots. A sad attempt involving a total of 24 rounds fired at @peepso_user_85(Corvus Wyatt). @peepso_user_85(Corvus Wyatt) resumes delivery of their package.
05:48:24: Someone once told @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. @peepso_user_85(Corvus Wyatt) got one over on @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) once before. So definitely, for @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson), that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) see's @peepso_user_85(Corvus Wyatt) running hurriedly down the street. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. @peepso_user_85(Corvus Wyatt) doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) did not see before. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see @peepso_user_85(Corvus Wyatt) escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
06:59:28: @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) stumbles into their own trap: a hole dug in the ground full of Ixyotik Death Wasps meant to ensure @peepso_user_85(Corvus Wyatt)'s destruction. Instead @peepso_user_85(Corvus Wyatt) resumes on their way, @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson)'s agonizing screams ringing in their ears.
07:49:35: @peepso_user_85(Corvus Wyatt) is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but @peepso_user_85(Corvus Wyatt) smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. @peepso_user_85(Corvus Wyatt) lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises @peepso_user_85(Corvus Wyatt)'s adrenaline. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of @peepso_user_85(Corvus Wyatt). "Not today, my friend." @peepso_user_85(Corvus Wyatt) twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
08:13:04: Someone once told @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) that the best way to handle this job is if you keep it strictly business. Not personal. Do not concern yourself with revenge. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) knows @peepso_user_85(Corvus Wyatt) has stolen one too many packages from them before, but brushes the sweat from their brow, banishing that memory. The heaviness of the EK40 surface to air missile launcher is starting to wear on @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) but the time is almost here. @peepso_user_85(Corvus Wyatt)'s ship comes over the horizon. There it is. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco)'s finger closes around the trigger loosely, causing the launcher to commence lock-on. A small repetitive beep turns into a single tone, signaling the moment for action. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) is surprised however as the rocket launches behind them instead of in front due to user error. This mistake would sting @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) the most, if not for the tower of rocket fuel they have chosen as their location. @peepso_user_85(Corvus Wyatt)'s ship rolls successfully by the towering pyre of incinerating flame, package still in tow.
09:12:51: @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) tried to sneak on board @peepso_user_85(Corvus Wyatt)'s ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt. @peepso_user_85(Corvus Wyatt) continues their delivery.
10:11:04: Someone once told @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. @peepso_user_85(Corvus Wyatt) got one over on @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) once before. So definitely, for @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson), that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) see's @peepso_user_85(Corvus Wyatt) running hurriedly down the street. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. @peepso_user_85(Corvus Wyatt) doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) did not see before. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see @peepso_user_85(Corvus Wyatt) escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
11:05:17: Package delivered by Corvus Wyatt for $260,000