01:02:54: Package picked up by Billy Butcher
01:02:55: The delivery point only has one way in, about a hundred yards away from a gated entry. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) has taken the precaution of wrapping that entire entry-way with barbed wire. The only issue with barbed wire in this day and age is that once spotted, it can be avoided. @peepso_user_507(Billy Butcher) ignites their rocket boots, attempting to vault over the death trap. @peepso_user_507(Billy Butcher) almost makes it, but is caught on their ankles, immediately becoming a tangled bloody mess in @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson)'s trap. Frantic, @peepso_user_507(Billy Butcher) activates their shield generator which creates a kinetic field of energy around their body, and it successfully severs most of the barbed wire. Limping, @peepso_user_507(Billy Butcher) hustles towards the remainder of the delivery path, lobbing grenades over their shoulder. As @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) manically runs after @peepso_user_507(Billy Butcher) firing rounds in their direction, they are caught in one of @peepso_user_507(Billy Butcher)'s grenades, losing a leg. @peepso_user_507(Billy Butcher) continues, hobbling, towards the delivery point.
02:01:00: @peepso_user_507(Billy Butcher) was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson). Luckily, @peepso_user_507(Billy Butcher) vaulted over it, only severing one foot. @peepso_user_507(Billy Butcher) resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
03:02:33: There are automatic rifles and there are these. The GZNKA tank killer is surprisingly light as @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) hefts it on their shoulder. The rounds are known to puncture holes two feet wide through heavy ship armor, and are held in a backpack and fed via sling. It is this reason alone that @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) has used it, targeting @peepso_user_507(Billy Butcher)'s ship as it races across the horizon. However, @peepso_user_507(Billy Butcher)'s ship is not only retrofitted with two meter thick armor, but also an electronic shielding system. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco)'s rounds do find their way through the shields, but only make it one foot into the armor. @peepso_user_507(Billy Butcher) dips their ship, skirting past @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) and giving them third degree thruster burns across half of their body.
04:03:04: @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) is impaled on a lengthy spear with a laser tip by @peepso_user_507(Billy Butcher) after a failed package theft attempt. @peepso_user_507(Billy Butcher) resumes on their way.
05:01:57: @peepso_user_507(Billy Butcher) was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco). Luckily, @peepso_user_507(Billy Butcher) vaulted over it, only severing one foot. @peepso_user_507(Billy Butcher) resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
06:00:54: @peepso_user_507(Billy Butcher) is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but @peepso_user_507(Billy Butcher) smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. @peepso_user_507(Billy Butcher) lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises @peepso_user_507(Billy Butcher)'s adrenaline. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of @peepso_user_507(Billy Butcher). "Not today, my friend." @peepso_user_507(Billy Butcher) twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
07:05:18: Today started as a uniquely bright one for @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson). A wonderful breakfast. "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) mused, "Why ruin a good thing? I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery." @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal. "Ah, that's the one. I'm here already." @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for @peepso_user_507(Billy Butcher) to come running down the road, package in tow. "I know this one. Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum. They won't be able to handle this either." @peepso_user_507(Billy Butcher) came into view. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism. Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) had just left. "What? How?" As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) barely heard @peepso_user_507(Billy Butcher) running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!" @peepso_user_507(Billy Butcher) continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
08:30:17: There are automatic rifles and there are these. The GZNKA tank killer is surprisingly light as @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) hefts it on their shoulder. The rounds are known to puncture holes two feet wide through heavy ship armor, and are held in a backpack and fed via sling. It is this reason alone that @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) has used it, targeting @peepso_user_507(Billy Butcher)'s ship as it races across the horizon. However, @peepso_user_507(Billy Butcher)'s ship is not only retrofitted with two meter thick armor, but also an electronic shielding system. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson)'s rounds do find their way through the shields, but only make it one foot into the armor. @peepso_user_507(Billy Butcher) dips their ship, skirting past @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) and giving them third degree thruster burns across half of their body.
09:00:47: Someone once told @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. @peepso_user_507(Billy Butcher) got one over on @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) once before. So definitely, for @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson), that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) see's @peepso_user_507(Billy Butcher) running hurriedly down the street. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. @peepso_user_507(Billy Butcher) doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) did not see before. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see @peepso_user_507(Billy Butcher) escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
09:04:33: Package delivered by Billy Butcher for $180,000