17:00:15: Package picked up by Pouncy Sillybear
17:00:16: There are automatic rifles and there are these. The GZNKA tank killer is surprisingly light as @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) hefts it on their shoulder. The rounds are known to puncture holes two feet wide through heavy ship armor, and are held in a backpack and fed via sling. It is this reason alone that @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) has used it, targeting @peepso_user_266(Pouncy Sillybear)'s ship as it races across the horizon. However, @peepso_user_266(Pouncy Sillybear)'s ship is not only retrofitted with two meter thick armor, but also an electronic shielding system. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson)'s rounds do find their way through the shields, but only make it one foot into the armor. @peepso_user_266(Pouncy Sillybear) dips their ship, skirting past @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) and giving them third degree thruster burns across half of their body.
18:16:27: The delivery point only has one way in, about a hundred yards away from a gated entry. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) has taken the precaution of wrapping that entire entry-way with barbed wire. The only issue with barbed wire in this day and age is that once spotted, it can be avoided. @peepso_user_266(Pouncy Sillybear) ignites their rocket boots, attempting to vault over the death trap. @peepso_user_266(Pouncy Sillybear) almost makes it, but is caught on their ankles, immediately becoming a tangled bloody mess in @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco)'s trap. Frantic, @peepso_user_266(Pouncy Sillybear) activates their shield generator which creates a kinetic field of energy around their body, and it successfully severs most of the barbed wire. Limping, @peepso_user_266(Pouncy Sillybear) hustles towards the remainder of the delivery path, lobbing grenades over their shoulder. As @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) manically runs after @peepso_user_266(Pouncy Sillybear) firing rounds in their direction, they are caught in one of @peepso_user_266(Pouncy Sillybear)'s grenades, losing a leg. @peepso_user_266(Pouncy Sillybear) continues, hobbling, towards the delivery point.
19:05:56: Today started as a uniquely bright one for @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco). A wonderful breakfast. "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) mused, "Why ruin a good thing? I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery." @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal. "Ah, that's the one. I'm here already." @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for @peepso_user_266(Pouncy Sillybear) to come running down the road, package in tow. "I know this one. Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum. They won't be able to handle this either." @peepso_user_266(Pouncy Sillybear) came into view. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism. Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) had just left. "What? How?" As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) barely heard @peepso_user_266(Pouncy Sillybear) running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!" @peepso_user_266(Pouncy Sillybear) continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
20:08:00: Someone once told @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. @peepso_user_266(Pouncy Sillybear) got one over on @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) once before. So definitely, for @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco), that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) see's @peepso_user_266(Pouncy Sillybear) running hurriedly down the street. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. @peepso_user_266(Pouncy Sillybear) doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) did not see before. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see @peepso_user_266(Pouncy Sillybear) escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
21:00:18: Package delivered by Pouncy Sillybear for $80,000