14:24:09: Package picked up by Shadowrabbit Clayguy
14:24:10: Someone once told @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) got one over on @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) once before. So definitely, for @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco), that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) see's @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) running hurriedly down the street. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) did not see before. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
15:03:03: @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) stumbles into their own trap: a hole dug in the ground full of Ixyotik Death Wasps meant to ensure @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s destruction. Instead @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) resumes on their way, @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson)'s agonizing screams ringing in their ears.
16:04:34: Someone once told @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) that the best way to handle this job is if you keep it strictly business. Not personal. Do not concern yourself with revenge. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) knows @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) has stolen one too many packages from them before, but brushes the sweat from their brow, banishing that memory. The heaviness of the EK40 surface to air missile launcher is starting to wear on @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) but the time is almost here. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s ship comes over the horizon. There it is. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson)'s finger closes around the trigger loosely, causing the launcher to commence lock-on. A small repetitive beep turns into a single tone, signaling the moment for action. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) is surprised however as the rocket launches behind them instead of in front due to user error. This mistake would sting @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) the most, if not for the tower of rocket fuel they have chosen as their location. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s ship rolls successfully by the towering pyre of incinerating flame, package still in tow.
17:00:02: @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) misses their double-fisted pistol shots. A sad attempt involving a total of 24 rounds fired at @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy). @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) resumes delivery of their package.
18:05:45: The delivery point only has one way in, about a hundred yards away from a gated entry. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) has taken the precaution of wrapping that entire entry-way with barbed wire. The only issue with barbed wire in this day and age is that once spotted, it can be avoided. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) ignites their rocket boots, attempting to vault over the death trap. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) almost makes it, but is caught on their ankles, immediately becoming a tangled bloody mess in @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson)'s trap. Frantic, @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) activates their shield generator which creates a kinetic field of energy around their body, and it successfully severs most of the barbed wire. Limping, @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) hustles towards the remainder of the delivery path, lobbing grenades over their shoulder. As @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) manically runs after @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) firing rounds in their direction, they are caught in one of @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s grenades, losing a leg. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) continues, hobbling, towards the delivery point.
19:04:32: There are automatic rifles and there are these. The GZNKA tank killer is surprisingly light as @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) hefts it on their shoulder. The rounds are known to puncture holes two feet wide through heavy ship armor, and are held in a backpack and fed via sling. It is this reason alone that @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) has used it, targeting @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s ship as it races across the horizon. However, @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s ship is not only retrofitted with two meter thick armor, but also an electronic shielding system. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco)'s rounds do find their way through the shields, but only make it one foot into the armor. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) dips their ship, skirting past @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) and giving them third degree thruster burns across half of their body.
20:02:57: @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco). Luckily, @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) vaulted over it, only severing one foot. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
21:02:26: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) misses their double-fisted pistol shots. A sad attempt involving a total of 24 rounds fired at @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy). @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) resumes delivery of their package.
22:01:34: Today started as a uniquely bright one for @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson). A wonderful breakfast. "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) mused, "Why ruin a good thing? I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery." @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal. "Ah, that's the one. I'm here already." @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) to come running down the road, package in tow. "I know this one. Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum. They won't be able to handle this either." @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) came into view. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism. Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) had just left. "What? How?" As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) barely heard @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!" @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
22:30:56: Package delivered by Shadowrabbit Clayguy for $180,000