17:46:42: Package picked up by Shadowrabbit Clayguy
17:46:43: Someone once told @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) that the best way to handle this job is if you keep it strictly business. Not personal. Do not concern yourself with revenge. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) knows @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) has stolen one too many packages from them before, but brushes the sweat from their brow, banishing that memory. The heaviness of the EK40 surface to air missile launcher is starting to wear on @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) but the time is almost here. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s ship comes over the horizon. There it is. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson)'s finger closes around the trigger loosely, causing the launcher to commence lock-on. A small repetitive beep turns into a single tone, signaling the moment for action. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) is surprised however as the rocket launches behind them instead of in front due to user error. This mistake would sting @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) the most, if not for the tower of rocket fuel they have chosen as their location. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s ship rolls successfully by the towering pyre of incinerating flame, package still in tow.
18:03:07: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) tried to sneak on board @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) continues their delivery.
19:01:11: @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s adrenaline. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy). "Not today, my friend." @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
20:00:54: @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) stumbles into their own trap: a hole dug in the ground full of Ixyotik Death Wasps meant to ensure @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s destruction. Instead @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) resumes on their way, @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson)'s agonizing screams ringing in their ears.
21:04:43: Today started as a uniquely bright one for @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco). A wonderful breakfast. "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) mused, "Why ruin a good thing? I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery." @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal. "Ah, that's the one. I'm here already." @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) to come running down the road, package in tow. "I know this one. Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum. They won't be able to handle this either." @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) came into view. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism. Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) had just left. "What? How?" As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) barely heard @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!" @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
22:01:21: Someone once told @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) got one over on @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) once before. So definitely, for @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson), that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) see's @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) running hurriedly down the street. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) did not see before. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
23:02:04: @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) tried to sneak on board @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) continues their delivery.
01:50:15: Package delivered by Shadowrabbit Clayguy for $140,000