13:44:25: Package picked up by Leroy Palestine
13:44:26: Ignoracious Buttafucco misses their double-fisted pistol shots. A sad attempt involving a total of 24 rounds fired at Leroy Palestine. Leroy Palestine resumes delivery of their package.
14:00:39: Someone once told Blaylock Samson the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. Leroy Palestine got one over on Blaylock Samson once before. So definitely, for Blaylock Samson, that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. Blaylock Samson stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. Blaylock Samson see's Leroy Palestine running hurriedly down the street. Blaylock Samson takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. Blaylock Samson ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. Leroy Palestine doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that Blaylock Samson did not see before. Blaylock Samson takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see Leroy Palestine escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
15:00:45: Leroy Palestine was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by Ignoracious Buttafucco. Luckily, Leroy Palestine vaulted over it, only severing one foot. Leroy Palestine resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
16:00:21: Ignoracious Buttafucco tried to sneak on board Leroy Palestine's ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt. Leroy Palestine continues their delivery.
17:00:28: Mac Nielson steadily took aim from a second story window as Leroy Palestine ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, Mac Nielson inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. Leroy Palestine resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
18:00:28: There are automatic rifles and there are these. The GZNKA tank killer is surprisingly light as Mac Nielson hefts it on their shoulder. The rounds are known to puncture holes two feet wide through heavy ship armor, and are held in a backpack and fed via sling. It is this reason alone that Mac Nielson has used it, targeting Leroy Palestine's ship as it races across the horizon. However, Leroy Palestine's ship is not only retrofitted with two meter thick armor, but also an electronic shielding system. Mac Nielson's rounds do find their way through the shields, but only make it one foot into the armor. Leroy Palestine dips their ship, skirting past Mac Nielson and giving them third degree thruster burns across half of their body.
19:00:16: Leroy Palestine was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by Ignoracious Buttafucco. Luckily, Leroy Palestine vaulted over it, only severing one foot. Leroy Palestine resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
20:00:25: Today started as a uniquely bright one for Blaylock Samson. A wonderful breakfast. "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover. Blaylock Samson mused, "Why ruin a good thing? I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery." Blaylock Samson took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal. "Ah, that's the one. I'm here already." Blaylock Samson put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod. Blaylock Samson crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for Leroy Palestine to come running down the road, package in tow. "I know this one. Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum. They won't be able to handle this either." Leroy Palestine came into view. Blaylock Samson pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism. Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode Blaylock Samson had just left. "What? How?" As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, Blaylock Samson barely heard Leroy Palestine running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!" Leroy Palestine continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
21:00:33: The delivery point only has one way in, about a hundred yards away from a gated entry. Mac Nielson has taken the precaution of wrapping that entire entry-way with barbed wire. The only issue with barbed wire in this day and age is that once spotted, it can be avoided. Leroy Palestine ignites their rocket boots, attempting to vault over the death trap. Leroy Palestine almost makes it, but is caught on their ankles, immediately becoming a tangled bloody mess in Mac Nielson's trap. Frantic, Leroy Palestine activates their shield generator which creates a kinetic field of energy around their body, and it successfully severs most of the barbed wire. Limping, Leroy Palestine hustles towards the remainder of the delivery path, lobbing grenades over their shoulder. As Mac Nielson manically runs after Leroy Palestine firing rounds in their direction, they are caught in one of Leroy Palestine's grenades, losing a leg. Leroy Palestine continues, hobbling, towards the delivery point.
21:45:17: Package delivered by Leroy Palestine for $180,000