16:06:09: Package picked up by Nicholas Jusino
16:06:10: Today started as a uniquely bright one for @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson). A wonderful breakfast. "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) mused, "Why ruin a good thing? I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery." @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal. "Ah, that's the one. I'm here already." @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) to come running down the road, package in tow. "I know this one. Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum. They won't be able to handle this either." @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) came into view. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism. Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) had just left. "What? How?" As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) barely heard @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!" @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
17:03:06: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) is impaled on a lengthy spear with a laser tip by @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) after a failed package theft attempt. @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) resumes on their way.
18:03:01: @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) does not normally mourn death. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) is accustomed to the loss of those they meet, in one capacity or another. But that last death. A split second of @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) thinking about it meant they were a split second too late on the trigger as @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) emerged from the parking garage, package in tow. The shot missed. @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) dove, taking a shot mid-air. @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) was not thinking about human connection, unlike @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson). This is arguably why @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) was shot in the gut. @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) resumes their delivery, package in tow.
18:27:25: @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s ship rams head-first into @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino)'s ship, utilizing a superheated prow to disintegrate @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino)'s cockpit. The package is snagged by @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) after a daring space walk. "Parcel transferred."
19:01:40: The delivery point only has one way in, about a hundred yards away from a gated entry. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) has taken the precaution of wrapping that entire entry-way with barbed wire. The only issue with barbed wire in this day and age is that once spotted, it can be avoided. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) ignites their rocket boots, attempting to vault over the death trap. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) almost makes it, but is caught on their ankles, immediately becoming a tangled bloody mess in @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson)'s trap. Frantic, @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) activates their shield generator which creates a kinetic field of energy around their body, and it successfully severs most of the barbed wire. Limping, @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) hustles towards the remainder of the delivery path, lobbing grenades over their shoulder. As @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) manically runs after @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) firing rounds in their direction, they are caught in one of @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s grenades, losing a leg. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) continues, hobbling, towards the delivery point.
19:15:23: @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) is riddled with repetitive machine gun fire from @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino), falling to their knees and letting the package slip from their fingers. "Parcel transferred." @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) resumes delivery with the package.
20:00:02: Someone once told @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) that the best way to handle this job is if you keep it strictly business. Not personal. Do not concern yourself with revenge. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) knows @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) has stolen one too many packages from them before, but brushes the sweat from their brow, banishing that memory. The heaviness of the EK40 surface to air missile launcher is starting to wear on @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) but the time is almost here. @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino)'s ship comes over the horizon. There it is. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson)'s finger closes around the trigger loosely, causing the launcher to commence lock-on. A small repetitive beep turns into a single tone, signaling the moment for action. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) is surprised however as the rocket launches behind them instead of in front due to user error. This mistake would sting @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) the most, if not for the tower of rocket fuel they have chosen as their location. @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino)'s ship rolls successfully by the towering pyre of incinerating flame, package still in tow.
21:05:06: Someone once told @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) got one over on @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) once before. So definitely, for @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson), that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) see's @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) running hurriedly down the street. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) did not see before. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
21:34:02: As @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) rounds a corner, they are distracted for more than a split second by a hastily posted cardboard cut-out of a Zyxxan Hound fornicating with a famous human politician from centuries before. This momentarily lapse in focus is all @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) needs in order to slam a large whirring chainsaw into the chest of @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino). "Parcel transferred."
21:41:22: @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino)'s ship rams head-first into @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s ship, utilizing a superheated prow to disintegrate @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s cockpit. The package is snagged by @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) after a daring space walk. "Parcel transferred."
22:04:38: The delivery point only has one way in, about a hundred yards away from a gated entry. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) has taken the precaution of wrapping that entire entry-way with barbed wire. The only issue with barbed wire in this day and age is that once spotted, it can be avoided. @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) ignites their rocket boots, attempting to vault over the death trap. @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) almost makes it, but is caught on their ankles, immediately becoming a tangled bloody mess in @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco)'s trap. Frantic, @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) activates their shield generator which creates a kinetic field of energy around their body, and it successfully severs most of the barbed wire. Limping, @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) hustles towards the remainder of the delivery path, lobbing grenades over their shoulder. As @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) manically runs after @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) firing rounds in their direction, they are caught in one of @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino)'s grenades, losing a leg. @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) continues, hobbling, towards the delivery point.
22:15:26: Someone once told @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) that the best way to handle this job is if you keep it strictly business. Not personal. Do not concern yourself with revenge. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) knows @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) has stolen one too many packages from them before, but brushes the sweat from their brow, banishing that memory. The heaviness of the EK40 surface to air missile launcher is starting to wear on @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) but the time is almost here. @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino)'s ship comes over the horizon. There it is. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s finger closes around the trigger loosely, causing the launcher to commence lock-on. A small repetitive beep turns into a single tone, signaling the moment for action. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) is surprised however as the rocket launches behind them instead of in front due to user error. This mistake would sting @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) the most, if not for the tower of rocket fuel they have chosen as their location. @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino)'s ship rolls successfully by the towering pyre of incinerating flame, package still in tow.
22:16:22: There are automatic rifles and there are these. The GZNKA tank killer is surprisingly light as @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) hefts it on their shoulder. The rounds are known to puncture holes two feet wide through heavy ship armor, and are held in a backpack and fed via sling. It is this reason alone that @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) has used it, targeting @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino)'s ship as it races across the horizon. However, @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino)'s ship is not only retrofitted with two meter thick armor, but also an electronic shielding system. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s rounds do find their way through the shields, but only make it one foot into the armor. @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) dips their ship, skirting past @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) and giving them third degree thruster burns across half of their body.
22:16:45: @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) has been sucked into a portable black hole shot from @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s MSK-8500 rifle, not only losing the package to @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy), but flung to unknown reaches of the universe. "Parcel transferred."
22:30:01: @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) steadily took aim from a second story window as @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
22:30:19: @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) bludgeons @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) unconscious with a large metal crowbar, laughing and dancing over their bloody mangled body. "Parcel transferred."
23:03:57: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) does not normally mourn death. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) is accustomed to the loss of those they meet, in one capacity or another. But that last death. A split second of @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) thinking about it meant they were a split second too late on the trigger as @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) emerged from the parking garage, package in tow. The shot missed. @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) dove, taking a shot mid-air. @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) was not thinking about human connection, unlike @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco). This is arguably why @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) was shot in the gut. @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) resumes their delivery, package in tow.
00:00:05: As @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) rounds a corner, they are distracted for more than a split second by a hastily posted cardboard cut-out of a Zyxxan Hound fornicating with a famous human politician from centuries before. This momentarily lapse in focus is all @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) needs in order to slam a large whirring chainsaw into the chest of @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino). "Parcel transferred."
00:08:39: Package delivered by Shadowrabbit Clayguy for $360,000