08:57:17: Package picked up by Tharg The Mighty One
08:57:18: Someone once told @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty One) got one over on @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) once before. So definitely, for @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson), that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) see's @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty One) running hurriedly down the street. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty One) doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) did not see before. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty One) escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
09:00:40: @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) is impaled on a lengthy spear with a laser tip by @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty One) after a failed package theft attempt. @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty One) resumes on their way.
10:00:39: There are automatic rifles and there are these. The GZNKA tank killer is surprisingly light as @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) hefts it on their shoulder. The rounds are known to puncture holes two feet wide through heavy ship armor, and are held in a backpack and fed via sling. It is this reason alone that @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) has used it, targeting @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty One)'s ship as it races across the horizon. However, @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty One)'s ship is not only retrofitted with two meter thick armor, but also an electronic shielding system. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson)'s rounds do find their way through the shields, but only make it one foot into the armor. @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty One) dips their ship, skirting past @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) and giving them third degree thruster burns across half of their body.
11:11:53: Today started as a uniquely bright one for @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson). A wonderful breakfast. "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) mused, "Why ruin a good thing? I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery." @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal. "Ah, that's the one. I'm here already." @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty One) to come running down the road, package in tow. "I know this one. Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum. They won't be able to handle this either." @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty One) came into view. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism. Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) had just left. "What? How?" As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) barely heard @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty One) running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!" @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty One) continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
12:01:41: @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty One) is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty One) smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty One) lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty One)'s adrenaline. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty One). "Not today, my friend." @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty One) twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
13:02:58: @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty One) was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco). Luckily, @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty One) vaulted over it, only severing one foot. @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty One) resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
14:46:48: @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) does not normally mourn death. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) is accustomed to the loss of those they meet, in one capacity or another. But that last death. A split second of @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) thinking about it meant they were a split second too late on the trigger as @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty One) emerged from the parking garage, package in tow. The shot missed. @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty One) dove, taking a shot mid-air. @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty One) was not thinking about human connection, unlike @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson). This is arguably why @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) was shot in the gut. @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty One) resumes their delivery, package in tow.
15:19:46: Someone once told @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty One) got one over on @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) once before. So definitely, for @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson), that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) see's @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty One) running hurriedly down the street. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty One) doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) did not see before. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty One) escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
16:24:56: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) tried to sneak on board @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty One)'s ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt. @peepso_user_134(Tharg The Mighty One) continues their delivery.
16:57:52: Package delivered by Tharg The Mighty One for $180,000