20:59:36: Package picked up by SEAN Edmonds
20:59:37: Someone once told Ignoracious Buttafucco that the best way to handle this job is if you keep it strictly business. Not personal. Do not concern yourself with revenge. Ignoracious Buttafucco knows SEAN Edmonds has stolen one too many packages from them before, but brushes the sweat from their brow, banishing that memory. The heaviness of the EK40 surface to air missile launcher is starting to wear on Ignoracious Buttafucco but the time is almost here. SEAN Edmonds's ship comes over the horizon. There it is. Ignoracious Buttafucco's finger closes around the trigger loosely, causing the launcher to commence lock-on. A small repetitive beep turns into a single tone, signaling the moment for action. Ignoracious Buttafucco is surprised however as the rocket launches behind them instead of in front due to user error. This mistake would sting Ignoracious Buttafucco the most, if not for the tower of rocket fuel they have chosen as their location. SEAN Edmonds's thief rolls successfully by the towering pyre of incinerating flame, package still in tow.
21:00:05: SEAN Edmonds was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by Daggwood Bronson. Luckily, SEAN Edmonds vaulted over it, only severing one foot. SEAN Edmonds resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
21:02:05: Someone once told Daggwood Bronson the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. SEAN Edmonds got one over on Daggwood Bronson once before. So definitely, for Daggwood Bronson, that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. Daggwood Bronson stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. Daggwood Bronson see's SEAN Edmonds running hurriedly down the street. Daggwood Bronson takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. Daggwood Bronson ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. SEAN Edmonds doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that Daggwood Bronson did not see before. Daggwood Bronson takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see SEAN Edmonds escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
21:02:12: Someone once told Daggwood Bronson that the best way to handle this job is if you keep it strictly business. Not personal. Do not concern yourself with revenge. Daggwood Bronson knows SEAN Edmonds has stolen one too many packages from them before, but brushes the sweat from their brow, banishing that memory. The heaviness of the EK40 surface to air missile launcher is starting to wear on Daggwood Bronson but the time is almost here. SEAN Edmonds's ship comes over the horizon. There it is. Daggwood Bronson's finger closes around the trigger loosely, causing the launcher to commence lock-on. A small repetitive beep turns into a single tone, signaling the moment for action. Daggwood Bronson is surprised however as the rocket launches behind them instead of in front due to user error. This mistake would sting Daggwood Bronson the most, if not for the tower of rocket fuel they have chosen as their location. SEAN Edmonds's thief rolls successfully by the towering pyre of incinerating flame, package still in tow.
21:02:17: SEAN Edmonds is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but SEAN Edmonds smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. SEAN Edmonds lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises SEAN Edmonds's adrenaline. Daggwood Bronson fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of SEAN Edmonds. "Not today, my friend." SEAN Edmonds twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting Daggwood Bronson four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
02:41:24: SEAN Edmonds has managed to somehow evade theft of the package thus far. SEAN Edmonds is feeling good. DAMN good. Unfortunately that feeling is momentarily suspended as a shot rings out, severing a cable holding up a net full of 700 pounds of refuse with a sign that has "Eat My Fuck - Cheers, Leroy Palestine" scrawled on it in pink paint. Leroy Palestine picks up the package which lies next to the mangled limbs of SEAN Edmonds. Fuck eaten. Good job, Leroy Palestine. "Parcel Transferred." You have the package. Now get that sucker to the finish line.
04:04:19: Leroy Palestine was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by StacyStace Edmonds. Luckily, Leroy Palestine vaulted over it, only severing one foot. Leroy Palestine resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
04:26:40: Leroy Palestine has been sucked into a portable black hole shot from Sable Nyx's MSK-8500 rifle, not only losing the package to Sable Nyx, but flung to unknown reaches of the universe. "Parcel transferred."
04:34:49: Sable Nyx has been sucked into a portable black hole shot from Harrison Ware's MSK-8500 rifle, not only losing the package to Harrison Ware, but flung to unknown reaches of the universe. "Parcel transferred."
04:35:06: Sable Nyx steadily took aim from a second story window as Harrison Ware ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, Sable Nyx inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. Harrison Ware resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
04:35:09: Harrison Ware has been sucked into a portable black hole shot from Sable Nyx's MSK-8500 rifle, not only losing the package to Sable Nyx, but flung to unknown reaches of the universe. "Parcel transferred."
04:38:29: Sable Nyx was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by Harrison Ware. Luckily, Sable Nyx vaulted over it, only severing one foot. Sable Nyx resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
04:38:39: Sable Nyx is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but Sable Nyx smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. Sable Nyx lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises Sable Nyx's adrenaline. Harrison Ware fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of Sable Nyx. "Not today, my friend." Sable Nyx twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting Harrison Ware four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
04:38:56: Sable Nyx has managed to somehow evade theft of the package thus far. Sable Nyx is feeling good. DAMN good. Unfortunately that feeling is momentarily suspended as a shot rings out, severing a cable holding up a net full of 700 pounds of refuse with a sign that has "Eat My Fuck - Cheers, Harrison Ware" scrawled on it in pink paint. Harrison Ware picks up the package which lies next to the mangled limbs of Sable Nyx. Fuck eaten. Good job, Harrison Ware. "Parcel Transferred." You have the package. Now get that sucker to the finish line.
04:39:16: Someone once told Sable Nyx that the best way to handle this job is if you keep it strictly business. Not personal. Do not concern yourself with revenge. Sable Nyx knows Harrison Ware has stolen one too many packages from them before, but brushes the sweat from their brow, banishing that memory. The heaviness of the EK40 surface to air missile launcher is starting to wear on Sable Nyx but the time is almost here. Harrison Ware's ship comes over the horizon. There it is. Sable Nyx's finger closes around the trigger loosely, causing the launcher to commence lock-on. A small repetitive beep turns into a single tone, signaling the moment for action. Sable Nyx is surprised however as the rocket launches behind them instead of in front due to user error. This mistake would sting Sable Nyx the most, if not for the tower of rocket fuel they have chosen as their location. Harrison Ware's thief rolls successfully by the towering pyre of incinerating flame, package still in tow.
04:39:19: Sable Nyx steadily took aim from a second story window as Harrison Ware ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, Sable Nyx inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. Harrison Ware resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
04:39:43: Someone once told Sable Nyx that the best way to handle this job is if you keep it strictly business. Not personal. Do not concern yourself with revenge. Sable Nyx knows Harrison Ware has stolen one too many packages from them before, but brushes the sweat from their brow, banishing that memory. The heaviness of the EK40 surface to air missile launcher is starting to wear on Sable Nyx but the time is almost here. Harrison Ware's ship comes over the horizon. There it is. Sable Nyx's finger closes around the trigger loosely, causing the launcher to commence lock-on. A small repetitive beep turns into a single tone, signaling the moment for action. Sable Nyx is surprised however as the rocket launches behind them instead of in front due to user error. This mistake would sting Sable Nyx the most, if not for the tower of rocket fuel they have chosen as their location. Harrison Ware's thief rolls successfully by the towering pyre of incinerating flame, package still in tow.
04:39:46: Today started as a uniquely bright one for Sable Nyx. A wonderful breakfast. "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover. Sable Nyx mused, "Why ruin a good thing? I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery." Sable Nyx took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal. "Ah, that's the one. I'm here already." Sable Nyx put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod. Sable Nyx crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for Harrison Ware to come running down the road, package in tow. "I know this one. Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum. They won't be able to handle this either." Harrison Ware came into view. Sable Nyx pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism. Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode Sable Nyx had just left. "What? How?" As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, Sable Nyx barely heard Harrison Ware running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!" Harrison Ware continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
04:39:55: Harrison Ware has been sucked into a portable black hole shot from Sable Nyx's MSK-8500 rifle, not only losing the package to Sable Nyx, but flung to unknown reaches of the universe. "Parcel transferred."
04:50:22: Someone once told Harrison Ware the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. Sable Nyx got one over on Harrison Ware once before. So definitely, for Harrison Ware, that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. Harrison Ware stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. Harrison Ware see's Sable Nyx running hurriedly down the street. Harrison Ware takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. Harrison Ware ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. Sable Nyx doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that Harrison Ware did not see before. Harrison Ware takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see Sable Nyx escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
04:50:56: Harrison Ware tried to sneak on board Sable Nyx's ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt. Sable Nyx continues their delivery.
04:51:10: Today started as a uniquely bright one for Harrison Ware. A wonderful breakfast. "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover. Harrison Ware mused, "Why ruin a good thing? I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery." Harrison Ware took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal. "Ah, that's the one. I'm here already." Harrison Ware put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod. Harrison Ware crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for Sable Nyx to come running down the road, package in tow. "I know this one. Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum. They won't be able to handle this either." Sable Nyx came into view. Harrison Ware pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism. Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode Harrison Ware had just left. "What? How?" As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, Harrison Ware barely heard Sable Nyx running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!" Sable Nyx continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
04:51:48: Sable Nyx is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but Sable Nyx smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. Sable Nyx lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises Sable Nyx's adrenaline. Harrison Ware fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of Sable Nyx. "Not today, my friend." Sable Nyx twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting Harrison Ware four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
04:57:04: Sable Nyx is riddled with repetitive machine gun fire from Buckaroo Banzai, falling to their knees and letting the package slip from their fingers. "Parcel transferred." Buckaroo Banzai resumes delivery with the package.
04:57:08: Buckaroo Banzai has been sucked into a portable black hole shot from Sable Nyx's MSK-8500 rifle, not only losing the package to Sable Nyx, but flung to unknown reaches of the universe. "Parcel transferred."
04:57:30: Sable Nyx is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but Sable Nyx smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. Sable Nyx lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises Sable Nyx's adrenaline. Buckaroo Banzai fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of Sable Nyx. "Not today, my friend." Sable Nyx twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting Buckaroo Banzai four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
04:57:38: Today started as a uniquely bright one for Buckaroo Banzai. A wonderful breakfast. "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover. Buckaroo Banzai mused, "Why ruin a good thing? I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery." Buckaroo Banzai took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal. "Ah, that's the one. I'm here already." Buckaroo Banzai put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod. Buckaroo Banzai crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for Sable Nyx to come running down the road, package in tow. "I know this one. Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum. They won't be able to handle this either." Sable Nyx came into view. Buckaroo Banzai pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism. Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode Buckaroo Banzai had just left. "What? How?" As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, Buckaroo Banzai barely heard Sable Nyx running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!" Sable Nyx continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
04:57:53: Sable Nyx was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by Buckaroo Banzai. Luckily, Sable Nyx vaulted over it, only severing one foot. Sable Nyx resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
04:58:10: Sable Nyx was feeling THAT feeling. The feeling of the win just over the horizon. A smile crept across Sable Nyx's face, thinking of exactly what they would use these credits to purchase, when Buckaroo Banzai launched an electrified bola at their feet. Sable Nyx can't quite internalize that the most painful step is also the most confident, as a dart is lodged into their neck before Sable Nyx's head even hits the ground, bringing on many hours of sleep. Buckaroo Banzai smiles as their delivery bracelet emits the familiar "Parcel transferred" message.
04:58:16: Buckaroo Banzai has managed to somehow evade theft of the package thus far. Buckaroo Banzai is feeling good. DAMN good. Unfortunately that feeling is momentarily suspended as a shot rings out, severing a cable holding up a net full of 700 pounds of refuse with a sign that has "Eat My Fuck - Cheers, Sable Nyx" scrawled on it in pink paint. Sable Nyx picks up the package which lies next to the mangled limbs of Buckaroo Banzai. Fuck eaten. Good job, Sable Nyx. "Parcel Transferred." You have the package. Now get that sucker to the finish line.
04:58:37: Sable Nyx has managed to somehow evade theft of the package thus far. Sable Nyx is feeling good. DAMN good. Unfortunately that feeling is momentarily suspended as a shot rings out, severing a cable holding up a net full of 700 pounds of refuse with a sign that has "Eat My Fuck - Cheers, Buckaroo Banzai" scrawled on it in pink paint. Buckaroo Banzai picks up the package which lies next to the mangled limbs of Sable Nyx. Fuck eaten. Good job, Buckaroo Banzai. "Parcel Transferred." You have the package. Now get that sucker to the finish line.
04:58:41: Buckaroo Banzai has managed to somehow evade theft of the package thus far. Buckaroo Banzai is feeling good. DAMN good. Unfortunately that feeling is momentarily suspended as a shot rings out, severing a cable holding up a net full of 700 pounds of refuse with a sign that has "Eat My Fuck - Cheers, Sable Nyx" scrawled on it in pink paint. Sable Nyx picks up the package which lies next to the mangled limbs of Buckaroo Banzai. Fuck eaten. Good job, Sable Nyx. "Parcel Transferred." You have the package. Now get that sucker to the finish line.
04:59:07: Buckaroo Banzai tried to sneak on board Sable Nyx's ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt. Sable Nyx continues their delivery.
04:59:14: Sable Nyx has managed to somehow evade theft of the package thus far. Sable Nyx is feeling good. DAMN good. Unfortunately that feeling is momentarily suspended as a shot rings out, severing a cable holding up a net full of 700 pounds of refuse with a sign that has "Eat My Fuck - Cheers, Buckaroo Banzai" scrawled on it in pink paint. Buckaroo Banzai picks up the package which lies next to the mangled limbs of Sable Nyx. Fuck eaten. Good job, Buckaroo Banzai. "Parcel Transferred." You have the package. Now get that sucker to the finish line.
04:59:21: Sable Nyx tried to sneak on board Buckaroo Banzai's ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt. Buckaroo Banzai continues their delivery.
04:59:22: Buckaroo Banzai is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but Buckaroo Banzai smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. Buckaroo Banzai lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises Buckaroo Banzai's adrenaline. Sable Nyx fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of Buckaroo Banzai. "Not today, my friend." Buckaroo Banzai twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting Sable Nyx four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
04:59:27: Buckaroo Banzai took a shortcut due to a fake sign placed by Sable Nyx, tripping over a portable road spike, and then landing in a field of Guruvian Nesters, an exotic species known for their sexual appetite. Sable Nyx currently has the package.
04:59:36: Package delivered by Sable Nyx for $740,000