20:59:43: Package picked up by Daggwood Bronson
20:59:44: Today started as a uniquely bright one for Blaylock Samson.  A wonderful breakfast.  "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover.  Blaylock Samson mused, "Why ruin a good thing?  I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery."  Blaylock Samson took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal.  "Ah, that's the one.  I'm here already."  Blaylock Samson put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod.  Blaylock Samson crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for Daggwood Bronson to come running down the road, package in tow.  "I know this one.  Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum.  They won't be able to handle this either."  Daggwood Bronson came into view.  Blaylock Samson pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism.  Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode Blaylock Samson had just left.  "What?  How?"  As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, Blaylock Samson barely heard Daggwood Bronson running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!"  Daggwood Bronson continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
21:40:37: Daggwood Bronson leaps off of a second story building on to a tall dumpster, shortening the fall.  Unfortunately this dumpster is full of explosives placed by Feisty Gazebo.  Feisty Gazebo smiles as they plunge their thumb onto the detonator switch, their face ignited by a pillar of flames as Daggwood Bronson is incinerated.  Feisty Gazebo throws the detonator over their shoulder as they pick up the package that rolls to their feet as if it was meant for them.  Feisty Gazebo breaks into a fast run, taking the stolen package with them.  "Parcel transferred," emits from their delivery bracelet signifying even more credits to be earned.  "Parcel transferred, indeed," Feisty Gazebo whispers in reply.
01:26:39: Feisty Gazebo is bloody from head to toe after a rough number of successful entanglements.  "Geronimo, fuckstick!"  They look up at the voice and see a a dot in the sky.  It quickly turns into two dots:  a sky born Daggwood Bronson on a rocket powered hang-glider, and the portable thermonuclear device they've dropped.  "Parcel transferred," can be heard from dispatch as Daggwood Bronson swoops past the mangled corpse and snags the package.
03:25:06: Daggwood Bronson is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads.  Dangerous territory.  A field of Space Bastards, but Daggwood Bronson smiles.  Winners aren't born; they're built.  Daggwood Bronson lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below.  One failed attempt.  Two.  Three.  Four.  Each attempted theft of the package raises Daggwood Bronson's adrenaline.  Calto Fremis fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of Daggwood Bronson.  "Not today, my friend."  Daggwood Bronson twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting Calto Fremis four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
03:25:12: Daggwood Bronson has been sucked into a portable black hole shot from Calto Fremis's MSK-8500 rifle, not only losing the package to Calto Fremis, but flung to unknown reaches of the universe.  "Parcel transferred."
04:59:43: Package delivered by Calto Fremis for $100,000