16:57:44: Package picked up by Leroy Palestine
16:57:45: @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) is impaled on a lengthy spear with a laser tip by @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) after a failed package theft attempt. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) resumes on their way.
17:07:06: @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) does not normally mourn death. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) is accustomed to the loss of those they meet, in one capacity or another. But that last death. A split second of @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) thinking about it meant they were a split second too late on the trigger as @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) emerged from the parking garage, package in tow. The shot missed. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) dove, taking a shot mid-air. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) was not thinking about human connection, unlike @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson). This is arguably why @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) was shot in the gut. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) resumes their delivery, package in tow.
18:07:54: @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson). Luckily, @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) vaulted over it, only severing one foot. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
19:18:42: @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson). Luckily, @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) vaulted over it, only severing one foot. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
20:00:31: Today started as a uniquely bright one for @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson). A wonderful breakfast. "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) mused, "Why ruin a good thing? I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery." @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal. "Ah, that's the one. I'm here already." @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) to come running down the road, package in tow. "I know this one. Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum. They won't be able to handle this either." @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) came into view. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism. Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) had just left. "What? How?" As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) barely heard @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!" @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
20:59:12: Someone once told @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy) that the best way to handle this job is if you keep it strictly business. Not personal. Do not concern yourself with revenge. @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy) knows @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) has stolen one too many packages from them before, but brushes the sweat from their brow, banishing that memory. The heaviness of the EK40 surface to air missile launcher is starting to wear on @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy) but the time is almost here. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s ship comes over the horizon. There it is. @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy)'s finger closes around the trigger loosely, causing the launcher to commence lock-on. A small repetitive beep turns into a single tone, signaling the moment for action. @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy) is surprised however as the rocket launches behind them instead of in front due to user error. This mistake would sting @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy) the most, if not for the tower of rocket fuel they have chosen as their location. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s ship rolls successfully by the towering pyre of incinerating flame, package still in tow.
20:59:16: There are automatic rifles and there are these. The GZNKA tank killer is surprisingly light as @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy) hefts it on their shoulder. The rounds are known to puncture holes two feet wide through heavy ship armor, and are held in a backpack and fed via sling. It is this reason alone that @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy) has used it, targeting @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s ship as it races across the horizon. However, @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s ship is not only retrofitted with two meter thick armor, but also an electronic shielding system. @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy)'s rounds do find their way through the shields, but only make it one foot into the armor. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) dips their ship, skirting past @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy) and giving them third degree thruster burns across half of their body.
20:59:21: Someone once told @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy) that the best way to handle this job is if you keep it strictly business. Not personal. Do not concern yourself with revenge. @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy) knows @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) has stolen one too many packages from them before, but brushes the sweat from their brow, banishing that memory. The heaviness of the EK40 surface to air missile launcher is starting to wear on @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy) but the time is almost here. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s ship comes over the horizon. There it is. @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy)'s finger closes around the trigger loosely, causing the launcher to commence lock-on. A small repetitive beep turns into a single tone, signaling the moment for action. @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy) is surprised however as the rocket launches behind them instead of in front due to user error. This mistake would sting @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy) the most, if not for the tower of rocket fuel they have chosen as their location. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s ship rolls successfully by the towering pyre of incinerating flame, package still in tow.
20:59:26: @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy) does not normally mourn death. @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy) is accustomed to the loss of those they meet, in one capacity or another. But that last death. A split second of @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy) thinking about it meant they were a split second too late on the trigger as @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) emerged from the parking garage, package in tow. The shot missed. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) dove, taking a shot mid-air. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) was not thinking about human connection, unlike @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy). This is arguably why @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy) was shot in the gut. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) resumes their delivery, package in tow.
20:59:30: Someone once told @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy) the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) got one over on @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy) once before. So definitely, for @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy), that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy) stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy) see's @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) running hurriedly down the street. @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy) takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy) ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy) did not see before. @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy) takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
20:59:35: @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy) is impaled on a lengthy spear with a laser tip by @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) after a failed package theft attempt. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) resumes on their way.
20:59:43: @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy) misses their double-fisted pistol shots. A sad attempt involving a total of 24 rounds fired at @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine). @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) resumes delivery of their package.
20:59:45: @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) has been sucked into a portable black hole shot from @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy)'s MSK-8500 rifle, not only losing the package to @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy), but flung to unknown reaches of the universe. "Parcel transferred."
21:04:38: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) is impaled on a lengthy spear with a laser tip by @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy) after a failed package theft attempt. @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy) resumes on their way.
21:04:43: @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy) has managed to somehow evade theft of the package thus far. @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy) is feeling good. DAMN good. Unfortunately that feeling is momentarily suspended as a shot rings out, severing a cable holding up a net full of 700 pounds of refuse with a sign that has "Eat My Fuck - Cheers, @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis)" scrawled on it in pink paint. @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) picks up the package which lies next to the mangled limbs of @peepso_user_90(Glenn Murphy). Fuck eaten. Good job, @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis). "Parcel Transferred." You have the package. Now get that sucker to the finish line.
21:10:09: @peepso_user_85(Corvus Wyatt)'s ship fires two nuclear torpedos into @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis)'s ship, instantly incinerating it. The package is snagged by a lengthy magnetic tow cable. "Parcel transferred."
21:12:48: Someone once told @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) that the best way to handle this job is if you keep it strictly business. Not personal. Do not concern yourself with revenge. @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) knows @peepso_user_85(Corvus Wyatt) has stolen one too many packages from them before, but brushes the sweat from their brow, banishing that memory. The heaviness of the EK40 surface to air missile launcher is starting to wear on @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) but the time is almost here. @peepso_user_85(Corvus Wyatt)'s ship comes over the horizon. There it is. @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis)'s finger closes around the trigger loosely, causing the launcher to commence lock-on. A small repetitive beep turns into a single tone, signaling the moment for action. @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) is surprised however as the rocket launches behind them instead of in front due to user error. This mistake would sting @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) the most, if not for the tower of rocket fuel they have chosen as their location. @peepso_user_85(Corvus Wyatt)'s ship rolls successfully by the towering pyre of incinerating flame, package still in tow.
21:12:51: @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) stumbles into their own trap: a hole dug in the ground full of Ixyotik Death Wasps meant to ensure @peepso_user_85(Corvus Wyatt)'s destruction. Instead @peepso_user_85(Corvus Wyatt) resumes on their way, @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis)'s agonizing screams ringing in their ears.
21:12:56: @peepso_user_85(Corvus Wyatt) is bloody from head to toe after a rough number of successful entanglements. "Geronimo, fuckstick!" They look up at the voice and see a a dot in the sky. It quickly turns into two dots: a sky born @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) on a rocket powered hang-glider, and the portable thermonuclear device they've dropped. "Parcel transferred," can be heard from dispatch as @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) swoops past the mangled corpse and snags the package.
22:14:08: There are automatic rifles and there are these. The GZNKA tank killer is surprisingly light as @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) hefts it on their shoulder. The rounds are known to puncture holes two feet wide through heavy ship armor, and are held in a backpack and fed via sling. It is this reason alone that @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) has used it, targeting @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis)'s ship as it races across the horizon. However, @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis)'s ship is not only retrofitted with two meter thick armor, but also an electronic shielding system. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson)'s rounds do find their way through the shields, but only make it one foot into the armor. @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) dips their ship, skirting past @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) and giving them third degree thruster burns across half of their body.
23:06:30: @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) stumbles into their own trap: a hole dug in the ground full of Ixyotik Death Wasps meant to ensure @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis)'s destruction. Instead @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) resumes on their way, @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson)'s agonizing screams ringing in their ears.
23:35:49: @peepso_user_108(Richard James) stumbles into their own trap: a hole dug in the ground full of Ixyotik Death Wasps meant to ensure @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis)'s destruction. Instead @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) resumes on their way, @peepso_user_108(Richard James)'s agonizing screams ringing in their ears.
00:34:56: Someone once told @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) that the best way to handle this job is if you keep it strictly business. Not personal. Do not concern yourself with revenge. @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) knows @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) has stolen one too many packages from them before, but brushes the sweat from their brow, banishing that memory. The heaviness of the EK40 surface to air missile launcher is starting to wear on @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) but the time is almost here. @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis)'s ship comes over the horizon. There it is. @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo)'s finger closes around the trigger loosely, causing the launcher to commence lock-on. A small repetitive beep turns into a single tone, signaling the moment for action. @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) is surprised however as the rocket launches behind them instead of in front due to user error. This mistake would sting @peepso_user_118(Bacon Moo) the most, if not for the tower of rocket fuel they have chosen as their location. @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis)'s ship rolls successfully by the towering pyre of incinerating flame, package still in tow.
00:56:43: @peepso_user_25(Calto Fremis) took a shortcut due to a fake sign placed by @peepso_user_85(Corvus Wyatt), tripping over a portable road spike, and then landing in a field of Guruvian Nesters, an exotic species known for their sexual appetite. @peepso_user_85(Corvus Wyatt) currently has the package.
00:57:44: Package delivered by Corvus Wyatt for $480,000