00:09:00: Package picked up by Shadowrabbit Clayguy
00:09:01: Today started as a uniquely bright one for @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco). A wonderful breakfast. "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) mused, "Why ruin a good thing? I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery." @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal. "Ah, that's the one. I'm here already." @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) to come running down the road, package in tow. "I know this one. Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum. They won't be able to handle this either." @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) came into view. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism. Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) had just left. "What? How?" As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) barely heard @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!" @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
00:10:49: @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) misses their double-fisted pistol shots. A sad attempt involving a total of 24 rounds fired at @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy). @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) resumes delivery of their package.
00:11:00: @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) does not normally mourn death. @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) is accustomed to the loss of those they meet, in one capacity or another. But that last death. A split second of @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) thinking about it meant they were a split second too late on the trigger as @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) emerged from the parking garage, package in tow. The shot missed. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) dove, taking a shot mid-air. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) was not thinking about human connection, unlike @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino). This is arguably why @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) was shot in the gut. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) resumes their delivery, package in tow.
00:11:26: There are automatic rifles and there are these. The GZNKA tank killer is surprisingly light as @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) hefts it on their shoulder. The rounds are known to puncture holes two feet wide through heavy ship armor, and are held in a backpack and fed via sling. It is this reason alone that @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) has used it, targeting @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s ship as it races across the horizon. However, @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s ship is not only retrofitted with two meter thick armor, but also an electronic shielding system. @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino)'s rounds do find their way through the shields, but only make it one foot into the armor. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) dips their ship, skirting past @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) and giving them third degree thruster burns across half of their body.
00:11:44: There are automatic rifles and there are these. The GZNKA tank killer is surprisingly light as @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) hefts it on their shoulder. The rounds are known to puncture holes two feet wide through heavy ship armor, and are held in a backpack and fed via sling. It is this reason alone that @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) has used it, targeting @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s ship as it races across the horizon. However, @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s ship is not only retrofitted with two meter thick armor, but also an electronic shielding system. @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino)'s rounds do find their way through the shields, but only make it one foot into the armor. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) dips their ship, skirting past @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) and giving them third degree thruster burns across half of their body.
00:12:02: The wonderful thing about lasers, although expensive, is their ability to slice entirely through a surface and sever. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) rounds a corner and only has a split second to see a blinding red light, before being decapitated by a slicingly accurate laser blast from @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino). The package rolls to their feet. "Parcel transferred." @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) resumes delivery of the stolen package.
01:02:10: Today started as a uniquely bright one for @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson). A wonderful breakfast. "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) mused, "Why ruin a good thing? I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery." @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal. "Ah, that's the one. I'm here already." @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) to come running down the road, package in tow. "I know this one. Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum. They won't be able to handle this either." @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) came into view. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism. Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) had just left. "What? How?" As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) barely heard @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!" @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
02:00:00: @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) misses their double-fisted pistol shots. A sad attempt involving a total of 24 rounds fired at @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino). @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) resumes delivery of their package.
03:05:37: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) steadily took aim from a second story window as @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
04:00:12: @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson). Luckily, @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) vaulted over it, only severing one foot. @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
05:00:33: Someone once told @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) got one over on @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) once before. So definitely, for @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson), that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) see's @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) running hurriedly down the street. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) did not see before. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
06:04:44: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) stumbles into their own trap: a hole dug in the ground full of Ixyotik Death Wasps meant to ensure @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino)'s destruction. Instead @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) resumes on their way, @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco)'s agonizing screams ringing in their ears.
07:03:02: @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) stumbles into their own trap: a hole dug in the ground full of Ixyotik Death Wasps meant to ensure @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino)'s destruction. Instead @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) resumes on their way, @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson)'s agonizing screams ringing in their ears.
08:05:49: @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) does not normally mourn death. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) is accustomed to the loss of those they meet, in one capacity or another. But that last death. A split second of @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) thinking about it meant they were a split second too late on the trigger as @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) emerged from the parking garage, package in tow. The shot missed. @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) dove, taking a shot mid-air. @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) was not thinking about human connection, unlike @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson). This is arguably why @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) was shot in the gut. @peepso_user_403(Nicholas Jusino) resumes their delivery, package in tow.
08:11:17: Package delivered by Nicholas Jusino for $280,000