18:55:25: Package picked up by Daggwood Bronson
19:00:25: Ignoracious Buttafucco steadily took aim from a second story window as Daggwood Bronson ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, Ignoracious Buttafucco inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. Daggwood Bronson resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
20:00:18: Ignoracious Buttafucco does not normally mourn death. Ignoracious Buttafucco is accustomed to the loss of those they meet, in one capacity or another. But that last death. A split second of Ignoracious Buttafucco thinking about it meant they were a split second too late on the trigger as Daggwood Bronson emerged from the parking garage, package in tow. The shot missed. Daggwood Bronson dove, taking a shot mid-air. Daggwood Bronson was not thinking about human connection, unlike Ignoracious Buttafucco. This is arguably why Ignoracious Buttafucco was shot in the gut. Daggwood Bronson resumes their delivery, package in tow.
21:00:34: Today started as a uniquely bright one for Mac Nielson. A wonderful breakfast. "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover. Mac Nielson mused, "Why ruin a good thing? I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery." Mac Nielson took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal. "Ah, that's the one. I'm here already." Mac Nielson put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod. Mac Nielson crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for Daggwood Bronson to come running down the road, package in tow. "I know this one. Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum. They won't be able to handle this either." Daggwood Bronson came into view. Mac Nielson pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism. Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode Mac Nielson had just left. "What? How?" As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, Mac Nielson barely heard Daggwood Bronson running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!" Daggwood Bronson continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
22:00:19: Mac Nielson stumbles into their own trap: a hole dug in the ground full of Ixyotik Death Wasps meant to ensure Daggwood Bronson's destruction. Instead Daggwood Bronson resumes on their way, Mac Nielson's agonizing screams ringing in their ears.
23:00:23: Blaylock Samson steadily took aim from a second story window as Daggwood Bronson ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, Blaylock Samson inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. Daggwood Bronson resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
02:56:21: Package delivered by Daggwood Bronson for $120,000