06:38:40: Package picked up by Calto Fremis
06:38:41: Ignoracious Buttafucco is impaled on a lengthy spear with a laser tip by Calto Fremis after a failed package theft attempt. Calto Fremis resumes on their way.
07:00:21: Calto Fremis was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by Blaylock Samson. Luckily, Calto Fremis vaulted over it, only severing one foot. Calto Fremis resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
08:00:27: Calto Fremis is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but Calto Fremis smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. Calto Fremis lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises Calto Fremis's adrenaline. Mac Nielson fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of Calto Fremis. "Not today, my friend." Calto Fremis twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting Mac Nielson four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
09:00:18: Ignoracious Buttafucco is impaled on a lengthy spear with a laser tip by Calto Fremis after a failed package theft attempt. Calto Fremis resumes on their way.
10:00:37: Today started as a uniquely bright one for Ignoracious Buttafucco. A wonderful breakfast. "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover. Ignoracious Buttafucco mused, "Why ruin a good thing? I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery." Ignoracious Buttafucco took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal. "Ah, that's the one. I'm here already." Ignoracious Buttafucco put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod. Ignoracious Buttafucco crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for Calto Fremis to come running down the road, package in tow. "I know this one. Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum. They won't be able to handle this either." Calto Fremis came into view. Ignoracious Buttafucco pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism. Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode Ignoracious Buttafucco had just left. "What? How?" As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, Ignoracious Buttafucco barely heard Calto Fremis running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!" Calto Fremis continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
11:00:25: Mac Nielson is impaled on a lengthy spear with a laser tip by Calto Fremis after a failed package theft attempt. Calto Fremis resumes on their way.
12:00:41: There are automatic rifles and there are these. The GZNKA tank killer is surprisingly light as Blaylock Samson hefts it on their shoulder. The rounds are known to puncture holes two feet wide through heavy ship armor, and are held in a backpack and fed via sling. It is this reason alone that Blaylock Samson has used it, targeting Calto Fremis's ship as it races across the horizon. However, Calto Fremis's ship is not only retrofitted with two meter thick armor, but also an electronic shielding system. Blaylock Samson's rounds do find their way through the shields, but only make it one foot into the armor. Calto Fremis dips their ship, skirting past Blaylock Samson and giving them third degree thruster burns across half of their body.
13:00:28: Ignoracious Buttafucco stumbles into their own trap: a hole dug in the ground full of Ixyotik Death Wasps meant to ensure Calto Fremis's destruction. Instead Calto Fremis resumes on their way, Ignoracious Buttafucco's agonizing screams ringing in their ears.
14:00:44: Blaylock Samson is impaled on a lengthy spear with a laser tip by Calto Fremis after a failed package theft attempt. Calto Fremis resumes on their way.
14:39:20: Package delivered by Calto Fremis for $180,000