10:02:58: Package picked up by Toe Cutter
10:02:59: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) tried to sneak on board @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter)'s ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt. @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter) continues their delivery.
11:09:30: Someone once told @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter) got one over on @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) once before. So definitely, for @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson), that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) see's @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter) running hurriedly down the street. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter) doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) did not see before. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter) escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
12:59:11: @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) stumbles into their own trap: a hole dug in the ground full of Ixyotik Death Wasps meant to ensure @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter)'s destruction. Instead @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter) resumes on their way, @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson)'s agonizing screams ringing in their ears.
13:05:15: Today started as a uniquely bright one for @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco). A wonderful breakfast. "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) mused, "Why ruin a good thing? I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery." @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal. "Ah, that's the one. I'm here already." @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter) to come running down the road, package in tow. "I know this one. Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum. They won't be able to handle this either." @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter) came into view. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism. Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) had just left. "What? How?" As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) barely heard @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter) running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!" @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter) continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
14:41:05: The delivery point only has one way in, about a hundred yards away from a gated entry. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) has taken the precaution of wrapping that entire entry-way with barbed wire. The only issue with barbed wire in this day and age is that once spotted, it can be avoided. @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter) ignites their rocket boots, attempting to vault over the death trap. @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter) almost makes it, but is caught on their ankles, immediately becoming a tangled bloody mess in @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson)'s trap. Frantic, @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter) activates their shield generator which creates a kinetic field of energy around their body, and it successfully severs most of the barbed wire. Limping, @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter) hustles towards the remainder of the delivery path, lobbing grenades over their shoulder. As @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) manically runs after @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter) firing rounds in their direction, they are caught in one of @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter)'s grenades, losing a leg. @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter) continues, hobbling, towards the delivery point.
15:17:49: Someone once told @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter) got one over on @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) once before. So definitely, for @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco), that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) see's @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter) running hurriedly down the street. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter) doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) did not see before. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter) escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
16:58:43: There are automatic rifles and there are these. The GZNKA tank killer is surprisingly light as @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) hefts it on their shoulder. The rounds are known to puncture holes two feet wide through heavy ship armor, and are held in a backpack and fed via sling. It is this reason alone that @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) has used it, targeting @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter)'s ship as it races across the horizon. However, @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter)'s ship is not only retrofitted with two meter thick armor, but also an electronic shielding system. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson)'s rounds do find their way through the shields, but only make it one foot into the armor. @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter) dips their ship, skirting past @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) and giving them third degree thruster burns across half of their body.
17:09:47: @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) stumbles into their own trap: a hole dug in the ground full of Ixyotik Death Wasps meant to ensure @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter)'s destruction. Instead @peepso_user_66(Toe Cutter) resumes on their way, @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson)'s agonizing screams ringing in their ears.
18:10:45: Package delivered by Toe Cutter for $160,000