00:54:22: Package picked up by [email protected]
00:54:23: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) misses their double-fisted pistol shots.   A sad attempt involving a total of 24 rounds fired at @peepso_user_534([email protected] ).  @peepso_user_534([email protected] ) resumes delivery of their package.
01:08:14: @peepso_user_534([email protected] ) was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson).  Luckily, @peepso_user_534([email protected] ) vaulted over it, only severing one foot.  @peepso_user_534([email protected] ) resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
02:05:39: @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) steadily took aim from a second story window as @peepso_user_534([email protected] ) ran by below.  Sweat dotting their forehead, @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger.  It was a miss.  @peepso_user_534([email protected] ) resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
03:01:31: Someone once told @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) the best way to handle this job is like it's personal.  Not business.  @peepso_user_534([email protected] ) got one over on @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) once before.  So definitely, for @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco), that advice hits close to the chest.  No guns.  Not this time.  @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) stakes out the area.  Hides in the shadows.  @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) see's @peepso_user_534([email protected] ) running hurriedly down the street.  @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling.  Certainly safer.  No.  It's time for revenge.  @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip.  @peepso_user_534([email protected] ) doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) did not see before.  @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see @peepso_user_534([email protected] ) escaping with the package still in tow far down the road.  Don't worry.  The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
04:06:31: @peepso_user_534([email protected] ) was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson).  Luckily, @peepso_user_534([email protected] ) vaulted over it, only severing one foot.  @peepso_user_534([email protected] ) resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
05:00:13: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) steadily took aim from a second story window as @peepso_user_534([email protected] ) ran by below.  Sweat dotting their forehead, @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger.  It was a miss.  @peepso_user_534([email protected] ) resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
06:01:23: @peepso_user_534([email protected] ) is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads.  Dangerous territory.  A field of Space Bastards, but @peepso_user_534([email protected] ) smiles.  Winners aren't born; they're built.  @peepso_user_534([email protected] ) lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below.  One failed attempt.  Two.  Three.  Four.  Each attempted theft of the package raises @peepso_user_534([email protected] )'s adrenaline.  @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of @peepso_user_534([email protected] ).  "Not today, my friend."  @peepso_user_534([email protected] ) twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
07:02:07: @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) does not normally mourn death.  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) is accustomed to the loss of those they meet, in one capacity or another.  But that last death.  A split second of @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) thinking about it meant they were a split second too late on the trigger as @peepso_user_534([email protected] ) emerged from the parking garage, package in tow.  The shot missed.  @peepso_user_534([email protected] ) dove, taking a shot mid-air.  @peepso_user_534([email protected] ) was not thinking about human connection, unlike @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson).  This is arguably why @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) was shot in the gut.  @peepso_user_534([email protected] ) resumes their delivery, package in tow.
08:02:19: Someone once told @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) that the best way to handle this job is if you keep it strictly business.  Not personal.  Do not concern yourself with revenge.  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) knows @peepso_user_534([email protected] ) has stolen one too many packages from them before, but brushes the sweat from their brow, banishing that memory.  The heaviness of the EK40 surface to air missile launcher is starting to wear on @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) but the time is almost here.  @peepso_user_534([email protected] )'s ship comes over the horizon.  There it is. @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson)'s finger closes around the trigger loosely, causing the launcher to commence lock-on.  A small repetitive beep turns into a single tone, signaling the moment for action.  @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) is surprised however as the rocket launches behind them instead of in front due to user error.  This mistake would sting @peepso_user_9(Mac Nielson) the most, if not for the tower of rocket fuel they have chosen as their location.  @peepso_user_534([email protected] )'s ship rolls successfully by the towering pyre of incinerating flame, package still in tow.
08:55:03: Package delivered by [email protected] for $180,000