13:27:24: Package picked up by Calto Fremis
13:27:25: Ignoracious Buttafucco misses their double-fisted pistol shots. A sad attempt involving a total of 24 rounds fired at Calto Fremis. Calto Fremis resumes delivery of their package.
14:00:09: Someone once told Mac Nielson the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. Calto Fremis got one over on Mac Nielson once before. So definitely, for Mac Nielson, that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. Mac Nielson stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. Mac Nielson see's Calto Fremis running hurriedly down the street. Mac Nielson takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. Mac Nielson ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. Calto Fremis doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that Mac Nielson did not see before. Mac Nielson takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see Calto Fremis escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
14:23:07: L.R. Snipestress steadily took aim from a second story window as Calto Fremis ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, L.R. Snipestress inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. Calto Fremis resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
14:23:10: The delivery point only has one way in, about a hundred yards away from a gated entry. L.R. Snipestress has taken the precaution of wrapping that entire entry-way with barbed wire. The only issue with barbed wire in this day and age is that once spotted, it can be avoided. Calto Fremis ignites their rocket boots, attempting to vault over the death trap. Calto Fremis almost makes it, but is caught on their ankles, immediately becoming a tangled bloody mess in L.R. Snipestress's trap. Frantic, Calto Fremis activates their shield generator which creates a kinetic field of energy around their body, and it successfully severs most of the barbed wire. Limping, Calto Fremis hustles towards the remainder of the delivery path, lobbing grenades over their shoulder. As L.R. Snipestress manically runs after Calto Fremis firing rounds in their direction, they are caught in one of Calto Fremis's grenades, losing a leg. Calto Fremis continues, hobbling, towards the delivery point.
14:23:13: L.R. Snipestress tried to sneak on board Calto Fremis's ship but a security robot detected and repelled the attempt. Calto Fremis continues their delivery.
14:23:20: Calto Fremis was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by L.R. Snipestress. Luckily, Calto Fremis vaulted over it, only severing one foot. Calto Fremis resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
14:23:24: The wonderful thing about lasers, although expensive, is their ability to slice entirely through a surface and sever. Calto Fremis rounds a corner and only has a split second to see a blinding red light, before being decapitated by a slicingly accurate laser blast from L.R. Snipestress. The package rolls to their feet. "Parcel transferred." L.R. Snipestress resumes delivery of the stolen package.
14:25:19: L.R. Snipestress has been sucked into a portable black hole shot from Calto Fremis's MSK-8500 rifle, not only losing the package to Calto Fremis, but flung to unknown reaches of the universe. "Parcel transferred."
14:25:35: Calto Fremis is bloody from head to toe after a rough number of successful entanglements. "Geronimo, fuckstick!" They look up at the voice and see a a dot in the sky. It quickly turns into two dots: a sky born L.R. Snipestress on a rocket powered hang-glider, and the portable thermonuclear device they've dropped. "Parcel transferred," can be heard from dispatch as L.R. Snipestress swoops past the mangled corpse and snags the package.
14:26:21: Calto Fremis fires two pistol shots at L.R. Snipestress's kneecaps, dropping them to their knees. "Parcel transferred."
14:26:53: L.R. Snipestress steadily took aim from a second story window as Calto Fremis ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, L.R. Snipestress inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. Calto Fremis resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
14:26:56: L.R. Snipestress steadily took aim from a second story window as Calto Fremis ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, L.R. Snipestress inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. Calto Fremis resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
14:26:58: Calto Fremis takes two shotgun blasts directly to the spine from L.R. Snipestress, who continues on their way with the package. "Parcel transferred." Calto Fremis will be paying a deductible to get this fixed.
14:27:09: L.R. Snipestress leaps off of a second story building on to a tall dumpster, shortening the fall. Unfortunately this dumpster is full of explosives placed by Calto Fremis. Calto Fremis smiles as they plunge their thumb onto the detonator switch, their face ignited by a pillar of flames as L.R. Snipestress is incinerated. Calto Fremis throws the detonator over their shoulder as they pick up the package that rolls to their feet as if it was meant for them. Calto Fremis breaks into a fast run, taking the stolen package with them. "Parcel transferred," emits from their delivery bracelet signifying even more credits to be earned. "Parcel transferred, indeed," Calto Fremis whispers in reply.
14:27:13: Someone once told L.R. Snipestress the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. Calto Fremis got one over on L.R. Snipestress once before. So definitely, for L.R. Snipestress, that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. L.R. Snipestress stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. L.R. Snipestress see's Calto Fremis running hurriedly down the street. L.R. Snipestress takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. L.R. Snipestress ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. Calto Fremis doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that L.R. Snipestress did not see before. L.R. Snipestress takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see Calto Fremis escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
14:27:15: Today started as a uniquely bright one for L.R. Snipestress. A wonderful breakfast. "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover. L.R. Snipestress mused, "Why ruin a good thing? I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery." L.R. Snipestress took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal. "Ah, that's the one. I'm here already." L.R. Snipestress put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod. L.R. Snipestress crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for Calto Fremis to come running down the road, package in tow. "I know this one. Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum. They won't be able to handle this either." Calto Fremis came into view. L.R. Snipestress pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism. Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode L.R. Snipestress had just left. "What? How?" As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, L.R. Snipestress barely heard Calto Fremis running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!" Calto Fremis continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
14:27:18: L.R. Snipestress successfully spears Calto Fremis to a wall through their chest. Calto Fremis has time to yell, "You bastard," as L.R. Snipestress snags the package from the ground in front of them. "Parcel transferred."
14:27:21: Calto Fremis shot a missile at L.R. Snipestress and obliterated their ship. All that was left was the package which was picked up and continued its journey with Calto Fremis.
14:27:23: The delivery point only has one way in, about a hundred yards away from a gated entry. L.R. Snipestress has taken the precaution of wrapping that entire entry-way with barbed wire. The only issue with barbed wire in this day and age is that once spotted, it can be avoided. Calto Fremis ignites their rocket boots, attempting to vault over the death trap. Calto Fremis almost makes it, but is caught on their ankles, immediately becoming a tangled bloody mess in L.R. Snipestress's trap. Frantic, Calto Fremis activates their shield generator which creates a kinetic field of energy around their body, and it successfully severs most of the barbed wire. Limping, Calto Fremis hustles towards the remainder of the delivery path, lobbing grenades over their shoulder. As L.R. Snipestress manically runs after Calto Fremis firing rounds in their direction, they are caught in one of Calto Fremis's grenades, losing a leg. Calto Fremis continues, hobbling, towards the delivery point.
14:27:26: Package delivered by Calto Fremis for $380,000