06:22:27: Package picked up by Leroy Palestine
06:22:28: Leroy Palestine is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but Leroy Palestine smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. Leroy Palestine lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises Leroy Palestine's adrenaline. Mac Nielson fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of Leroy Palestine. "Not today, my friend." Leroy Palestine twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting Mac Nielson four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
06:31:15: Long Dread misses their double-fisted pistol shots. A sad attempt involving a total of 24 rounds fired at Leroy Palestine. Leroy Palestine resumes delivery of their package.
06:31:28: Today started as a uniquely bright one for Long Dread. A wonderful breakfast. "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover. Long Dread mused, "Why ruin a good thing? I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery." Long Dread took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal. "Ah, that's the one. I'm here already." Long Dread put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod. Long Dread crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for Leroy Palestine to come running down the road, package in tow. "I know this one. Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum. They won't be able to handle this either." Leroy Palestine came into view. Long Dread pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism. Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode Long Dread had just left. "What? How?" As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, Long Dread barely heard Leroy Palestine running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!" Leroy Palestine continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
06:31:33: Long Dread stumbles into their own trap: a hole dug in the ground full of Ixyotik Death Wasps meant to ensure Leroy Palestine's destruction. Instead Leroy Palestine resumes on their way, Long Dread's agonizing screams ringing in their ears.
06:31:46: Long Dread misses their double-fisted pistol shots. A sad attempt involving a total of 24 rounds fired at Leroy Palestine. Leroy Palestine resumes delivery of their package.
06:31:55: Leroy Palestine is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but Leroy Palestine smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. Leroy Palestine lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises Leroy Palestine's adrenaline. Long Dread fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of Leroy Palestine. "Not today, my friend." Leroy Palestine twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting Long Dread four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
06:32:00: Leroy Palestine is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but Leroy Palestine smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. Leroy Palestine lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises Leroy Palestine's adrenaline. Long Dread fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of Leroy Palestine. "Not today, my friend." Leroy Palestine twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting Long Dread four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
06:32:05: Long Dread does not normally mourn death. Long Dread is accustomed to the loss of those they meet, in one capacity or another. But that last death. A split second of Long Dread thinking about it meant they were a split second too late on the trigger as Leroy Palestine emerged from the parking garage, package in tow. The shot missed. Leroy Palestine dove, taking a shot mid-air. Leroy Palestine was not thinking about human connection, unlike Long Dread. This is arguably why Long Dread was shot in the gut. Leroy Palestine resumes their delivery, package in tow.
06:32:16: Long Dread does not normally mourn death. Long Dread is accustomed to the loss of those they meet, in one capacity or another. But that last death. A split second of Long Dread thinking about it meant they were a split second too late on the trigger as Leroy Palestine emerged from the parking garage, package in tow. The shot missed. Leroy Palestine dove, taking a shot mid-air. Leroy Palestine was not thinking about human connection, unlike Long Dread. This is arguably why Long Dread was shot in the gut. Leroy Palestine resumes their delivery, package in tow.
06:32:22: Leroy Palestine is bloody from head to toe after a rough number of successful entanglements. "Geronimo, fuckstick!" They look up at the voice and see a a dot in the sky. It quickly turns into two dots: a sky born Long Dread on a rocket powered hang-glider, and the portable thermonuclear device they've dropped. "Parcel transferred," can be heard from dispatch as Long Dread swoops past the mangled corpse and snags the package.
06:37:48: The smell of Long Dread's completely immolated ship flares up Leroy Palestine's nostrils as a tow cable yanks the package from the flaming wreck. "Parcel transferred" emit's from Leroy Palestine's bracelet, signaling more credits to be made. Leroy Palestine continues towards the delivery point, package in tow.
06:44:32: Long Dread successfully spears Leroy Palestine to a wall through their chest. Leroy Palestine has time to yell, "You bastard," as Long Dread snags the package from the ground in front of them. "Parcel transferred."
06:58:29: Feisty Gazebo's ship rams head-first into Long Dread's ship, utilizing a superheated prow to disintegrate Long Dread's cockpit. The package is snagged by Feisty Gazebo after a daring space walk. "Parcel transferred."
07:00:40: Mac Nielson misses their double-fisted pistol shots. A sad attempt involving a total of 24 rounds fired at Feisty Gazebo. Feisty Gazebo resumes delivery of their package.
07:18:06: The delivery point only has one way in, about a hundred yards away from a gated entry. Long Dread has taken the precaution of wrapping that entire entry-way with barbed wire. The only issue with barbed wire in this day and age is that once spotted, it can be avoided. Feisty Gazebo ignites their rocket boots, attempting to vault over the death trap. Feisty Gazebo almost makes it, but is caught on their ankles, immediately becoming a tangled bloody mess in Long Dread's trap. Frantic, Feisty Gazebo activates their shield generator which creates a kinetic field of energy around their body, and it successfully severs most of the barbed wire. Limping, Feisty Gazebo hustles towards the remainder of the delivery path, lobbing grenades over their shoulder. As Long Dread manically runs after Feisty Gazebo firing rounds in their direction, they are caught in one of Feisty Gazebo's grenades, losing a leg. Feisty Gazebo continues, hobbling, towards the delivery point.
07:18:13: Feisty Gazebo took a shortcut due to a fake sign placed by Long Dread, tripping over a portable road spike, and then landing in a field of Guruvian Nesters, an exotic species known for their sexual appetite. Long Dread currently has the package.
07:22:10: Feisty Gazebo's ship fires two nuclear torpedos into Long Dread's ship, instantly incinerating it. The package is snagged by a lengthy magnetic tow cable. "Parcel transferred."
07:22:29: Package delivered by Feisty Gazebo for $340,000