19:28:39: Package picked up by Shadowrabbit Clayguy
19:28:40: Someone once told @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) that the best way to handle this job is if you keep it strictly business. Not personal. Do not concern yourself with revenge. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) knows @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) has stolen one too many packages from them before, but brushes the sweat from their brow, banishing that memory. The heaviness of the EK40 surface to air missile launcher is starting to wear on @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) but the time is almost here. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s ship comes over the horizon. There it is. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson)'s finger closes around the trigger loosely, causing the launcher to commence lock-on. A small repetitive beep turns into a single tone, signaling the moment for action. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) is surprised however as the rocket launches behind them instead of in front due to user error. This mistake would sting @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) the most, if not for the tower of rocket fuel they have chosen as their location. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s ship rolls successfully by the towering pyre of incinerating flame, package still in tow.
19:49:55: As @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) rounds a corner, they are distracted for more than a split second by a hastily posted cardboard cut-out of a Zyxxan Hound fornicating with a famous human politician from centuries before. This momentarily lapse in focus is all @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) needs in order to slam a large whirring chainsaw into the chest of @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy). "Parcel transferred."
20:01:13: There are automatic rifles and there are these. The GZNKA tank killer is surprisingly light as @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) hefts it on their shoulder. The rounds are known to puncture holes two feet wide through heavy ship armor, and are held in a backpack and fed via sling. It is this reason alone that @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) has used it, targeting @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s ship as it races across the horizon. However, @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s ship is not only retrofitted with two meter thick armor, but also an electronic shielding system. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco)'s rounds do find their way through the shields, but only make it one foot into the armor. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) dips their ship, skirting past @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) and giving them third degree thruster burns across half of their body.
20:07:54: @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) takes two shotgun blasts directly to the spine from @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy), who continues on their way with the package. "Parcel transferred." @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) will be paying a deductible to get this fixed.
20:26:26: @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) has been sucked into a portable black hole shot from @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s MSK-8500 rifle, not only losing the package to @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine), but flung to unknown reaches of the universe. "Parcel transferred."
21:00:38: @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) steadily took aim from a second story window as @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
21:04:21: @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) bludgeons @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) unconscious with a large metal crowbar, laughing and dancing over their bloody mangled body. "Parcel transferred."
21:42:11: The wonderful thing about lasers, although expensive, is their ability to slice entirely through a surface and sever. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) rounds a corner and only has a split second to see a blinding red light, before being decapitated by a slicingly accurate laser blast from @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine). The package rolls to their feet. "Parcel transferred." @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) resumes delivery of the stolen package.
22:00:12: There are automatic rifles and there are these. The GZNKA tank killer is surprisingly light as @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) hefts it on their shoulder. The rounds are known to puncture holes two feet wide through heavy ship armor, and are held in a backpack and fed via sling. It is this reason alone that @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) has used it, targeting @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s ship as it races across the horizon. However, @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s ship is not only retrofitted with two meter thick armor, but also an electronic shielding system. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco)'s rounds do find their way through the shields, but only make it one foot into the armor. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) dips their ship, skirting past @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) and giving them third degree thruster burns across half of their body.
22:37:12: Someone once told @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) that the best way to handle this job is if you keep it strictly business. Not personal. Do not concern yourself with revenge. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) knows @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) has stolen one too many packages from them before, but brushes the sweat from their brow, banishing that memory. The heaviness of the EK40 surface to air missile launcher is starting to wear on @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) but the time is almost here. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s ship comes over the horizon. There it is. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s finger closes around the trigger loosely, causing the launcher to commence lock-on. A small repetitive beep turns into a single tone, signaling the moment for action. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) is surprised however as the rocket launches behind them instead of in front due to user error. This mistake would sting @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) the most, if not for the tower of rocket fuel they have chosen as their location. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s ship rolls successfully by the towering pyre of incinerating flame, package still in tow.
23:01:16: @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson). Luckily, @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) vaulted over it, only severing one foot. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
23:03:37: @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s adrenaline. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine). "Not today, my friend." @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
23:04:05: There are automatic rifles and there are these. The GZNKA tank killer is surprisingly light as @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) hefts it on their shoulder. The rounds are known to puncture holes two feet wide through heavy ship armor, and are held in a backpack and fed via sling. It is this reason alone that @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) has used it, targeting @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s ship as it races across the horizon. However, @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine)'s ship is not only retrofitted with two meter thick armor, but also an electronic shielding system. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s rounds do find their way through the shields, but only make it one foot into the armor. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) dips their ship, skirting past @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) and giving them third degree thruster burns across half of their body.
23:05:01: @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) has managed to somehow evade theft of the package thus far. @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine) is feeling good. DAMN good. Unfortunately that feeling is momentarily suspended as a shot rings out, severing a cable holding up a net full of 700 pounds of refuse with a sign that has "Eat My Fuck - Cheers, @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)" scrawled on it in pink paint. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) picks up the package which lies next to the mangled limbs of @peepso_user_2(Leroy Palestine). Fuck eaten. Good job, @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy). "Parcel Transferred." You have the package. Now get that sucker to the finish line.
23:28:43: Package delivered by Shadowrabbit Clayguy for $280,000