14:56:50: Package picked up by Shadowrabbit Clayguy
14:56:51: Someone once told @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) the best way to handle this job is like it's personal. Not business. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) got one over on @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) once before. So definitely, for @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson), that advice hits close to the chest. No guns. Not this time. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) stakes out the area. Hides in the shadows. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) see's @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) running hurriedly down the street. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) takes one last look at the triple barrel sawed-off shotgun in their sling. Certainly safer. No. It's time for revenge. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) ducks out of the corner, an electrically charged knife in a firm grip. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) doesn't even skip a beat, slicing downward with a chainsaw that @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) did not see before. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) takes a long horrified look at their severed limb on the ground, still clutching the knife, and then once more up to see @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) escaping with the package still in tow far down the road. Don't worry. The Intergalactic Postal Service has excellent health coverage for limb replacement.
15:00:08: @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) misses their double-fisted pistol shots. A sad attempt involving a total of 24 rounds fired at @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy). @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) resumes delivery of their package.
16:00:34: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) is impaled on a lengthy spear with a laser tip by @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) after a failed package theft attempt. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) resumes on their way.
17:00:38: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) misses their double-fisted pistol shots. A sad attempt involving a total of 24 rounds fired at @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy). @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) resumes delivery of their package.
17:40:41: @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) has managed to somehow evade theft of the package thus far. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) is feeling good. DAMN good. Unfortunately that feeling is momentarily suspended as a shot rings out, severing a cable holding up a net full of 700 pounds of refuse with a sign that has "Eat My Fuck - Cheers, @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial)" scrawled on it in pink paint. @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) picks up the package which lies next to the mangled limbs of @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy). Fuck eaten. Good job, @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial). "Parcel Transferred." You have the package. Now get that sucker to the finish line.
18:00:40: @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) steadily took aim from a second story window as @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) ran by below. Sweat dotting their forehead, @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) inhaled sharply and squeezed the trigger. It was a miss. @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) resumes delivery, trying to ignore the echoing rifle shot and fragments of wall exploding just overhead.
18:13:21: @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) misses their double-fisted pistol shots. A sad attempt involving a total of 24 rounds fired at @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial). @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) resumes delivery of their package.
18:13:26: @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) has managed to somehow evade theft of the package thus far. @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) is feeling good. DAMN good. Unfortunately that feeling is momentarily suspended as a shot rings out, severing a cable holding up a net full of 700 pounds of refuse with a sign that has "Eat My Fuck - Cheers, @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)" scrawled on it in pink paint. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) picks up the package which lies next to the mangled limbs of @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial). Fuck eaten. Good job, @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy). "Parcel Transferred." You have the package. Now get that sucker to the finish line.
19:01:05: The delivery point only has one way in, about a hundred yards away from a gated entry. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) has taken the precaution of wrapping that entire entry-way with barbed wire. The only issue with barbed wire in this day and age is that once spotted, it can be avoided. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) ignites their rocket boots, attempting to vault over the death trap. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) almost makes it, but is caught on their ankles, immediately becoming a tangled bloody mess in @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco)'s trap. Frantic, @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) activates their shield generator which creates a kinetic field of energy around their body, and it successfully severs most of the barbed wire. Limping, @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) hustles towards the remainder of the delivery path, lobbing grenades over their shoulder. As @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) manically runs after @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) firing rounds in their direction, they are caught in one of @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s grenades, losing a leg. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) continues, hobbling, towards the delivery point.
20:01:02: @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) is on a roll, carving a violent swathe through everything in their path when they enter a crossroads. Dangerous territory. A field of Space Bastards, but @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) smiles. Winners aren't born; they're built. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) lets loose a volley of grenades while igniting their rocket boots, soaring over the carnage below. One failed attempt. Two. Three. Four. Each attempted theft of the package raises @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s adrenaline. @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) fires a wrist mounted laser, signing the hip of @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy). "Not today, my friend." @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) twists in mid-air and strafes the area with bullets, hitting @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson) four times square in the torso and then resumes delivery.
21:02:12: @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) was running at break-neck speed and rounded a blind corner, stumbling upon a laser trip mine placed by @peepso_user_7(Blaylock Samson). Luckily, @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) vaulted over it, only severing one foot. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) resumes delivery with package in tow, albeit slightly hobbling.
21:37:42: @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) does not normally mourn death. @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) is accustomed to the loss of those they meet, in one capacity or another. But that last death. A split second of @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) thinking about it meant they were a split second too late on the trigger as @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) emerged from the parking garage, package in tow. The shot missed. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) dove, taking a shot mid-air. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) was not thinking about human connection, unlike @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial). This is arguably why @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) was shot in the gut. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) resumes their delivery, package in tow.
21:37:49: @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) is riddled with repetitive machine gun fire from @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial), falling to their knees and letting the package slip from their fingers. "Parcel transferred." @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) resumes delivery with the package.
22:00:51: Today started as a uniquely bright one for @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco). A wonderful breakfast. "Have a great day at the service," and a kiss from their lover. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) mused, "Why ruin a good thing? I'll steal a package instead of being the idiot that always starts a delivery." @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) took their time, looking at the myriad of packages currently traversing the universe as well as the armaments at their disposal. "Ah, that's the one. I'm here already." @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) put on their favorite guilty pleasure of a song on an audio device, and hummed along, out of tune, as they laid down a multi-celled rocket launcher in the middle of the street on a hefty tripod. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) crouched a fair distance away, readying their goggles and watching for @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) to come running down the road, package in tow. "I know this one. Never been able to handle their Zygerian Rum. They won't be able to handle this either." @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) came into view. @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) pushed the hand-held trigger mechanism. Suddenly, the rocket launcher whirled on it's pivot, pointing at the abode @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) had just left. "What? How?" As the rockets burnt the denizens inside to a crisp, @peepso_user_8(Ignoracious Buttafucco) barely heard @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) running by shouting, "Always pack a signal disrupter, dickhead!" @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) continued on without breaking a step, the package remaining in tow.
22:07:33: @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) was feeling THAT feeling. The feeling of the win just over the horizon. A smile crept across @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial)'s face, thinking of exactly what they would use these credits to purchase, when @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) launched an electrified bola at their feet. @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) can't quite internalize that the most painful step is also the most confident, as a dart is lodged into their neck before @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial)'s head even hits the ground, bringing on many hours of sleep. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) smiles as their delivery bracelet emits the familiar "Parcel transferred" message.
22:18:32: @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) misses their double-fisted pistol shots. A sad attempt involving a total of 24 rounds fired at @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy). @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) resumes delivery of their package.
22:18:39: There are automatic rifles and there are these. The GZNKA tank killer is surprisingly light as @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) hefts it on their shoulder. The rounds are known to puncture holes two feet wide through heavy ship armor, and are held in a backpack and fed via sling. It is this reason alone that @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) has used it, targeting @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s ship as it races across the horizon. However, @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s ship is not only retrofitted with two meter thick armor, but also an electronic shielding system. @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial)'s rounds do find their way through the shields, but only make it one foot into the armor. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) dips their ship, skirting past @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) and giving them third degree thruster burns across half of their body.
22:18:46: @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) is impaled on a lengthy spear with a laser tip by @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) after a failed package theft attempt. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) resumes on their way.
22:19:01: @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) stumbles into their own trap: a hole dug in the ground full of Ixyotik Death Wasps meant to ensure @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s destruction. Instead @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) resumes on their way, @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial)'s agonizing screams ringing in their ears.
22:19:06: Someone once told @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) that the best way to handle this job is if you keep it strictly business. Not personal. Do not concern yourself with revenge. @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) knows @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy) has stolen one too many packages from them before, but brushes the sweat from their brow, banishing that memory. The heaviness of the EK40 surface to air missile launcher is starting to wear on @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) but the time is almost here. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s ship comes over the horizon. There it is. @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial)'s finger closes around the trigger loosely, causing the launcher to commence lock-on. A small repetitive beep turns into a single tone, signaling the moment for action. @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) is surprised however as the rocket launches behind them instead of in front due to user error. This mistake would sting @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial) the most, if not for the tower of rocket fuel they have chosen as their location. @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s ship rolls successfully by the towering pyre of incinerating flame, package still in tow.
22:19:12: @peepso_user_295(Wulfrien Helgial)'s ship fires two nuclear torpedos into @peepso_user_322(Shadowrabbit Clayguy)'s ship, instantly incinerating it. The package is snagged by a lengthy magnetic tow cable. "Parcel transferred."
22:57:48: Package delivered by Wulfrien Helgial for $420,000